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Title: Hitchhiker's ride through the galaxy
Fandom: Torchwood/Doctor Who
Characters: Jack, Ianto, The Doctor (12)
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,049 words
Content notes: none
Author notes:  Written for Challenge 143 - On the outside at fan_flashworks
Summary: Don't panic, it's only a broken down car.

The earth cracked loudly under their feet. When it had last seen rain was anybody's guess. Certainly not in the last ten years by the looks of it. The ground was so hard from the baking heat, nothing would penetrate it. A dead body would lie out here for years. Indeed the air was so hot and dry, chances were that your body would remain a perfectly preserved husk for all to see.

Well, that was if anybody ever came out here. It was just the two of them here now, and probably not another living thing for fifty miles all around. Their dusty old corvette joined them, its engine so overheated that there was nothing left to steam out from under the hood. Like everything else, it was bone dry.

'We're going to die out here,' said the younger man. 'Well, me at least.' He kicked at the hard packed ground with the tip of his shoe. 'I'd say please make sure you bury me, but judging from this, you'd have a hell of a job.'

'No one is dying,' replied the older man.

'I wouldn't be so sure. Even the car died.'

The tall man grinned at him. 'We don't need the car.'

'I beg to differ,' he argued.

The man reached into the car, pulling out his long, thick coat from the back seat and throwing it at the other man

'Oh good, a death shroud,' he quipped.

He groaned. 'Don't the Welsh ever stop moaning?'  

'Only when we're dead,' the Welshman confirmed. 'Which shouldn't be too long now.'

Shaking his head, he stepped out onto the long stretch of shimmering highway and thrust an arm out, fist balled and thumb sticking upwards.

He's lost his mind, thought the young man. We're a million miles from anywhere and he thinks we can hitchhike our way out of here.

'Jack, I think you're suffering from heatstroke. There's no cars.'

'I'm not hailing a car, Ianto.'

Before he could respond, or pull Jack off the road, a noise erupted from seemingly nowhere. Moments later, there was a blue police box parked in the middle of the road.

The door opened and out stuck a grey headed man in jeans, t-shirt and a loose jacket. He was also sporting a large pair of dark sunglasses. He looked like a roadie for the Rolling Stones.

'Should've known it was you,' he said, looking at Jack. 'I don't do hitchhikers anymore, but she insisted.'

'That's because she likes me,' Jack grinned, referring to the TARDIS.

'C'mon Ianto, our ride is here,' he announced.

Ianto had heard about the TARDIS, even seen pictures of it, but never in real life. He'd seen The Doctor once before too, but he looked different now.

'Fine,' grumbled The Doctor, allowing Jack to push past him.

Jack spun around and waited for Ianto to join him. He couldn't wait to see the expression on his face when he finally got to see inside the TARDIS. It was one of his favourite things.

Typically, Ianto being terribly practical, had instead returned to the car, retrieving his own jacket and their small luggage bags from the car, before following through the narrow door and past its irreverently clothed owner.

He looked around and watched the gleaming metal colonnade spinning, and the bright round lights that encircled the upper gangway. Even Jack was impressed with the new interior.

'So what so you think?' he asked excitedly.

Ianto paused, looked around again, and then looked back at Jack.

'It's smaller on the outside.'

The Doctor afforded the young man a look.

'Five thousand years of travelling and he's only the second person to say that. I'd keep him if I were you, Jack.' He tried not to think about the only other person who'd ever said that. Clara.

Jack's face fell. He'd hoped for more, but he looked across at The Doctor and only got the dramatic rolling of eyes behind his sunglasses.

'Have you finished showing off my TARDIS now, or should I give you the grand tour?'

Jack narrowed his eyes at The Doctor. 'Scottish? Really? All the regeneration possibilities and you chose that?'

'It chose me. Besides, I like Scottish. Makes me more angry and authoritative sounding.'

'A Scotsman, a Welshman and a time agent walk into a TARDIS. Sounds like the start of a bad joke.'

'Probably because it is,' he replied dryly.

'C'mon you didn't miss me? Even just a little bit?'

'How can I miss you when you never really go away? All the way to the year one hundred billion and back, and now the TARDIS has decided to keep you, like some sort of stray puppy.'

Ianto smirked. It was nice to have someone else to give Jack a bit of stick that wasn't him.

'So where are we going?' Jack asked, ignoring The Doctor's new sense of humour.

'We're not going anywhere. I emphasise the we part. I'm dropping you off at your intergalactic hotel suite, wherever it is, and that's it.'

'That would be theta four nineteen,' Ianto clarified.

'Good, theta four nineteen it is,' The Doctor said, thrusting back a lever on the TARDIS console. 'Clever and pragmatic. Definitely keep this one,' he advised Jack.

The TARDIS hummed and whirred and groaned, before clunking into place on the ground once more.

Ianto quickly gathered their things and thanked The Doctor for the lift. When he stepped out of the door, he was in for a shock.

Jack stumbled into the back of him, not noticing that he'd come to a stop, before looking out at what Ianto was seeing.

'That's not theta four nineteen.'

Jack laughed and grinned madly, turning back to The Doctor.

'Guess she wanted to go off with us on an adventure after all,' Jack said.

The Doctor huffed at the TARDIS. 'I'm the boss around here!' he told her. 'If you want to go cavorting around the universe with him, then I'm staying home.'

'Told you she likes me. Leave the bags Ianto, we're going out!'

The Doctor groaned and followed them out. It looked like the TARDIS had decided they were having an adventure, whether he liked it or not.

She'd also decided he needed two new companions, but she'd tell him that later.