Title: in all things of nature
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: PG
Length: 448
Content notes: Crack
Author notes: For fan-flashworks for the On the Outside challenge
Summary: Eliot thinks they should all go camping. Eliot/Parker/Hardison established relationship. Crack/humorfic.




“Camping is stupid,” Hardison said. The three of them were lying on a sleeping mat on a meadow overlooking the lake, staring up at the sky, Hardison on one side of Eliot and Parker on the other.

“What the hell is wrong with you? There are like a thousand stars in the sky, way more than we can see in the city, and your impulse is to complain?” Eliot grumbled.

“There are way more than a thousand visible stars,” Parker said. “I counted.”

“How’d you do that?” Hardison asked.

She shrugged. “It’s just like counting a few thousand diamonds on a warehouse floor.”

Hardison nodded.

“No,” Eliot said to Hardison, “Do not pretend like that was a perfectly logical explanation.”

“Whatever,” he said. “You know, if you hadn’t made me leave my computer at home, I could hack into the Hubble feed and we could see a lot more than this.”

“But you’re seeing this with your eyes! It’s different!” Eliot said.

“If you say so. Man, there are way too many mosquitoes out here.”

“I like mosquitoes,” Parker said. “They try to bite me and I kill them. It’s a fun game."

"Fun my ass," Hardison mumbled.

"Your ass is fun," Parker agreed. "Hey guys, do you think there are werewolves in these woods? That would be a fun game, too. Hey, Eliot, if I turned into a werewolf, would you shoot me with a silver bullet or let me turn you and Hardison so we could all make wolf love?”

Eliot just sighed loudly.

“And it’s cold out here. Why are we here instead of our nice warm bed?” Hardison complained.

“Because you should experience nature at least once in your stupid geeky life,” Eliot said.

“If you’re cold, you can be in the middle,” Parker offered.

“Nah,” Hardison said. “You know Eliot needs to be in the middle.”

Parker nodded. “I guess it’s so we can protect him from werewolves.”

Eliot grimaced. “It is NOT so – there’s no such – okay, it is obviously tactically better for me to be in arm’s reach of both of you in case something comes – that way I can move in front of you both no matter which way the enemy approaches. That’s just good sense!”

“And by enemies, do you mean werewolves?” Parker asked.

“Babe, are you messing with Eliot or are you serious?” Hardison asked, mostly out of curiosity by the tone of it.

Parker shrugged. “Haven’t decided yet. Hey, Eliot, are we going to make S’mores for breakfast?”

“No, because you ate all the marshmallows on the car ride up,” Hardison said.

“Oh, that’s right,” Parker agreed.

“And because S’mores is not what human beings eat for breakfast,” Eliot grumbled.

“What do werewolves eat for breakfast?” Parker asked.

“If I had my computer, we could look that up.”

“Just shut up and look at the sky.”