Title: Five Things For Which Dean Winchester Is Secretly Thankful
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Dean/Cassie, Dean/Lisa (both background and in the past)
Rating: G
Length: 571 words
Spoilers: Things we learn about through season 9
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin -- five things for which Dean Winchester is secretly thankful.



5. Cassie

She was something special to Dean, and he holds her memory very tight to his vest. She was the first time he would allow himself to admit that he just might be in love. Though it ended badly, he is thankful that it happened at all.

It was thanks to Cassie that, when he was blown back into Lisa Braeden's life, Dean was able to realise that he just might be in love with her. He now knew what that feeling felt like.


4. Ruby

Not because of the way she manipulated and hurt Sammy. Dean's only regret there is that he could only kill her once.

No, he's secretly thankful for her because of that beautiful, wonderful knife of hers that they still have. One of these days he might actually start thinking about reproducing it.


3. Time Travel.

The circumstances sucked. There was absolutely no doubt about that. And given the chance, he wouldn't willingly repeat any of his jaunts to the past.

But Dean is secretly thankful that he got to interact with several people he idolised growing up – especially his father – and to get to know them as people instead of icons.

Since then, he has been able to pull out good memories of growing up, instead of replaying his failures. He's been able to forgive his father much, realising that he was not some larger than life superhero – just a man in impossible situations, doing the best that he could.

That's worth being thankful for.


2. Cell Phones.

Dean grew up in a world of pay phones and houses that might or might not have had telephone service. When his father got a pager, it made him easier to contact when he was away on "business", and that eased the boy's mind a lot.

But when Bobby gave the whole family their first cell phones shortly before the disaster that was Dad And Sammy's Final Fight, Dean felt like his whole world just exploded into possibility.

Now, they could always be in touch. Now, there would always be a way to find Dad. Now, the family would always be connected.

Until that fight.

Until Sam didn't answer his phone.

Until Dad left.

Until Dad didn't answer his phone.

But still.... Dean hoped.

And the family called Sam the eternal optimist?

1. Downtime.

Whether it was at Bobby's junkyard or Pastor Jim's church parsonage – or even that month-and-a-half at Sonny's Reform School – there were periods of time in Dean's life when he wasn't a hunter, just a kid.

Even when he got older, there were stretches where he didn't hunt. A long weekend with "Gumby Girl". Several months with Cassie.

Weeks with Sam where they did little more than drive, see the sights, and "soak up culture". For Sam, that meant trips to museums and libraries and historical sites. Dean enjoyed the historical sites, but he also made sure to take them to festivals and concerts and rodeos and classic car shows.

Dean secretly relishes these periods of downtime – and is very thankful for them – because deep down he knows one thing he's never shared with Sammy. And probably never will.

Dean knows he's born to be a Hunter. "Saving people – hunting things." It's in his blood, his bones, his soul. It's what keeps him moving.

But the downtime? That's what keeps him sane.

END