lt_indigo

lt_indigo

“She’ll be dead by midnight!”

He still believes I was involved, and that realisation cuts me to the quick, as if he has stabbed me with my own blade. I cannot even bear to look at him, to see the accusation in his eyes. How can he possibly think that I could do anything that would cause him distress? Lisa and Ben have given him a sense of normalcy that I never could, and because of that, I still believe I chose the right course of action in not asking for his help the day I truly needed it. I could not, in all good conscience, pull him back into the hunting life after he had given everything to it. Crowley is a treacherous partner, but at least I felt no qualms about using him to ensure the survival of a free Heaven, to prevent the Apocalypse being restarted.

But now that alliance has led me here, to the bedside of the woman Dean loves; a woman dying because of me, because I chose a shortcut to help me stand up to my brother. I cannot let her die – even if she were not Dean’s lover, she does not deserve to die because of mistakes I have made. Her son does not deserve that.

And I selfishly hope that in healing Lisa, Dean may begin to forgive me for my perceived crimes; may begin to accept the course I have chosen and am now compelled to complete to save everyone.