Title: Bucky's Photo Album
Fandom: Captain America/MCU,
Rating: Mature
Content notes: Canon memory issues.
Artist notes: For the Old Friends prompt. Slight AU in that it includes photos of things in canon that did not have photos, and some that took place in the Agent Carter series.
Summary: Cracky. Post-Winter Soldier, Bucky remembers people but doesn't remember a lot of events, but he amuses himself by making up stories to go with old photos. Steve/Bucky.




Hey, Steve,
I don't remember all of this stuff, but I remember enough about everyone that I can guess what's happening in these pictures. Hope you don't mind that I wrote in your photo album.



I think this is how we all felt when it was Steve's turn to do the cooking....




Based on their expressions, I assume this is what happened when Steve tried to tell a joke.




"Steve. Were you just looking at my legs?"
"No, miss, I don't even know where a woman's legs are!"
"I saw you looking at my legs, Steve."
"No, seriously, what are those weird long body parts above your shoes? Did you call them 'lages'? I don't know! Please help me understand women's bodies, I am hopeless!"





"Hey, Steve, wanna have a threesome with me and Peggy?"
"What's a threesome, Howard?"
"I drew you a diagram, Steve."
"Here, take the diagram back. It's too complicated for me to understand."
"I figured."




"Hey, Peggy, let's ask Steve to try this sex toy."
"Oh, Howard, Steve won't know what to do with a sex toy."
"It's not really a sex toy. Let's say that it is and watch Steve try to figure out how to use it. It'll be hilarious."
"You're being cruel, Howard."
"Well, someone's got to teach Steve about sex. Especially how to give a decent blowjob. That way, when Steve goes back to Bucky, the sudden improvement in blowjob quality will make it OBVIOUS that Steve has been fucking every billionaire and badass woman in sight."
"Oh, what a wonderful idea, Howard. Let's fuck Steve's brains out RIGHT NOW. He's such a horny stupid dork that he surely won't refuse!"


-------

Dear Bucky,

When I gave you pictures of Howard and Peggy, I did not realize you would still be jealous of this. IT WAS 70 YEARS AGO!!! And you said I could be with other people!!! You were with other people too!

I'm happy you remember my cooking, though.

And I don't mind if you're mad if it means we get to have makeup sex tonight.

Love,
Steve