Title: The Landlady Cometh
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD), Flanders and Swann
Rating: G
Length: 276
Characters/Pairings: Mrs. Hudson, Sherlock Holmes/Stanley Hopkins
Author notes: This is a reworking ("parody" seems the wrong word) of Flanders and Swann's magnificent comic song, The Gas Man Cometh.
Summary: Being Sherlock Holmes' landlady is never easy.

‘Twas on a Monday morning

Mrs. Hudson let a detective in.

“I’ve solved my latest case!” Holmes told her with a grin.

But sadly he was bored again

In just no time at all

And her tenant started shooting at her newly papered wall.

Oh, it all makes work for a landlady to do!





‘Twas on a Tuesday morning

Mrs. Hudson set off up the stairs.

The billowing clouds of smoke rather took her unawares.

Mr. Holmes ran to her,

The meeting of the twain,

Apparently not noticing his dressing gown was aflame.

Oh, it all makes work for a landlady to do!





‘Twas on a Wednesday morning

Mrs. Hudson took a stand.

Experiments and firearms were very firmly banned.

Mr. Holmes queried

The details of his lease.

And Mrs. Hudson thought about calling the police.

Oh, it all makes work for a landlady to do!





‘Twas on a Thursday evening

Inspector Hopkins came to tea.

She caught him kissing Mr. Holmes and pretended not to see.

When at last they went out,

Mrs. Hudson tidied all the rooms.

And then in her hallway cupboard found them canoodling ‘mongst the brooms.

Oh, it all makes work for a landlady to do!





‘Twas on a Friday morning

Mrs. Hudson was in a state.

A landlady’s own broom cupboard should be inviolate.

But Mr. Holmes was smiling,

Said there was no need to shout.

And Mrs. Hudson grabbed his ear and threw the genius out.

Oh, it all makes work for a landlady to do!





On Saturday and Sunday Mrs. Hudson was swigging gin:

So ‘twas on a Monday morning she let a detective in!