Title: Project Runway: Superheroes/Villains Edition
Fandom: DC Heroes, Marvel Heroes, Project Runway, with Cameos from The Incredibles and James Bond
Type: Fic
Challenges: Disaster, performance anxiety, win or lose
Characters/Pairing: (see under the cut for judges, contestants--and their outfits) Implied Superman/Magneto and Batman/Catwoman
Word Count: ~2700
Rating: PG13
Shamelessly inspired by daria234 and her Speed Dating Fic.

Notes/Setup: Project Runway superheroes and villains edition.  Who will win and who will be out?


Judges:
Edna Mode- The Incredibles (in her signature all-black)
Q – James Bond (looking dapper in a battered navy tweed coat with leather patches at the elbows, a pink and white zebra-striped shirt, and blue and lime green polka dotted tie.)
Catwoman – (appearing in a black patent leather catsuit, with a series of baby blue zippers on the left thigh.)

Host:
Lois Lane (Wearing a severe 1940’s style red suit with shoulder pads.)

Contestants being critiqued:
Batman (wearing a black rubber Batman mask, a black ‘hello! Kitty’ t-shirt embellished with matte black rhinestones, a madras patchwork suit overdyed in dark blue, and carnation pink doc martens)
Superman (sporting a red mask, torn jeans, a long-sleeved t-shirt with a screen printed electromagnet image superimposed with the words ‘physical attraction,’ and red, white and blue wingtips)
Rogue (garbed in a green mask, matte black leather pants with studded belts, gladiator sandals, a grey and leaf green squid twinset and the yellow gloves from her X-men costume)
Animal Man (appearing in his usual yellow costume with a ‘Members Only’ jacket on top)
Magneto (arrayed in purple stretch twill pencil-cut trousers with the ‘S’ superman logo stenciled down the right leg in varying shades of grey, a red velvet smoking jacket, black cravat, and loafers)
Poison Ivy (dressed in a hunter green tunic, burlap capri pants and teal huraches)



Lois Lane: Designers, your challenge was to create a red carpet look for the opening of the new Stark Enterprises flagship store, “Glow.”  Batman, you won the last challenge and have immunity this week. She-Hulk, Clobberella, American Maid, and Electra, congratulations. You’re all safe. You may leave the runway. (They leave.)

The remaining six designers have the highest and the lowest scores.  One of you will be the winner and one of you will be out.  Let’s bring out your models.  (The models enter the runway.)

Poison Ivy, please tell us about your design.

Poison Ivy: I started out by thinking about a woman’s body and what a stylish, but environmentally aware woman, would want to wear for a night out on the town.

Edna Mode: It looks like a web of vines with oak leaves hot glued in places. And not the right ones. Did no one give you advice about the challenge? (Camera pans to show Tim Gunn covering his face with both hands.)

Catwoman: I agree. It wouldn’t survive a single backflip if Joker comes and tries to gas everyone.

Ivy: I used living vines that readjust to accommodate movement.  And throttle enemies. Besides, the Joker only crashes parties in Gotham.  He never goes near Stark Enterprises. The Avengers give him the willies.

Q: Willies? I have a gadget for that around here somewhere. I like your outfit better than the red carpet look.

Lois Lane: The dress looks itchy. I wouldn’t want to wear it.  I also like your own outfit better than the vines.

Poison Ivy: Step closer, Lois.  I can’t hear you.

Batman: Stop that. If you can’t win without mind control, go on Wheel of Fortune.

Lois Lane (looking glazed): You know, maybe it isn’t that bad. Vines are green. Green is nice.

Catwoman: Vines are green?!  Did someone turn off the mind shield again? (Magneto turns a laugh into a cough.)

Q: Lois, someone turned off your mind protector again. (Flips a switch). There.  The dress is bad, Ivy.  Just plain bad.

Edna Mode: Plus it has a cape.  I tell all of you every week. No capes.

(Vines unwind from the model and lunge at Edna Mode. Lois Lane jumps up on her chair. The models scream and scamper from the runway. Edna pulls out a gun and zaps the vines. Q sprays them with a blue aerosol. A vine wraps around Superman’s leg and another grabs Animal Man’s throat.)

Animal Man: A little help, here.  (Poison Ivy steps closer.) Not you. I spent two days in the infirmary after that Mood trip. Do you have any idea how hard it is to sew when you’re foaming at the mouth?

Ivy: Cry baby. (Batman and Rogue break the vines and help Animal Man stand up. Magneto helps Superman and hugs him.)

Lois Lane: All right. Simmer down everyone. We don’t want a repetition of what happened last week.  Ivy, if you can’t make your garment behave, you can wait with the Joker in the Arkham Asylum lounge. Let’s find the models and continue. Magneto, please describe your gown.

Magneto: I wanted to play with hard and soft this week.  I made a lime green silk charmeuse goddess-inspired dress with deep purple leather straps at the neckline and waist.  I topped it with a chainmail shrug.

Edna Mode: Is that silverware on the back, trailing off the shrug?

Magneto: The stainless steel cutlery from the cafeteria trolley was attracted to the chain mail.  I liked the effect, so I incorporated it into my design. The fastenings on the straps are forks, and I crafted the bracelet from spoons.

Edna Mode: Stainless steel isn’t magnetic.

Magneto (smirks): It is for me.

Edna Mode: You push too hard, Magneto. The cutlery on back makes it look like it has a cape.  I tell you each week. No capes.

Catwoman: I like the shrug. It looks dangerous. I adore dangerous clothes. All you really need to be purrrrfect is a black leather catsuit to go underneath. Or at least some leather pants.

Lois: Batman, please tell us about your design.

Batman: I crafted a catsuit. (Superman rolls his eyes and mouths “again.”) I used black leather, and I made a long pink silk charmeuse and chiffon coat to go over it. I used black leather to outline the collar and the buttonholes.

Catwoman: Purrrrrr. Catsuits are such a classic look.  Especially black leather catsuits.  They are perfect for every occasion. I’m wearing one now.

Q: I agree.  I like the big pink enameled zip down the front. It has a lot of m. appeal.

Catwoman: All it needs is more metal detail on the legs, maybe some big grommets for ribbon laces on the calves. And a matching hood with little ears. Or a tail.

Batman: Thank you.  Actually, the bag converts into a matching hood with little ears. (Superman and Magneto roll their eyes and hook pinkies behind Magneto’s model.)

Catwoman: Purrfect.

Edna Mode: Stop flirting, you two. (Superman and Magneto drop their hands.) I see you made no cape, Batman. Very good. I assume your look is fireproof?

Batman: Yes. Tested to 3000 degrees.

Lois Lane: Thank you, Batman. Superman, tell us about your design.

Superman: I wanted to work with gingham because I think it’s a very misunderstood fabric.  I used red, white and blue to express my patriotism, and I crafted an asymmetrical hem to show that the fight for injustice is never over. I reinforced the bodice with armor and included cigarette pants underneath because those Stark Enterprises parties can get a bit raucous. The skirt tears away and can be used as a shield or a flotation device.

Batman: (coughs) Cape.

Edna Mode: The design is elegant. The neckline is remarkable and unexpected, but overall it’s a bit too ‘Little House on the Prairie meets George M. Cohan’ for my taste.

Superman: That was my exact inspiration, Edna. And it’s waterproof and glows in the dark.

Q: Glowing in the dark is good.

Catwoman: Snoresville, Superman. I wrote ‘little tablecloth in the big woods’ when it came out on the runway. Is that lined with blue chambray?
       
Superman: Yes, it is. I’m sorry you feel that way, Catwoman.

Catwoman: You seem absolutely obsessed with these horrible Farmer Brown fabrics. And the detachable skirt reads like a cape to me.

Edna Mode: I usually just say ‘no capes.’  But in this case, I don’t mind that as much as the fabric choice.  This fabric is just boring, darling. Dorothy and Toto would go to sleep on it. Your design would be so good in silk.

Lois Lane: Animal Man, please tell us about your look.

Animal Man: Well, I’m obsessed with pockets, so I made a red carpet gown with pockets and a jacket to go over it.

Catwoman: I applaud your use of leopard print silk.  I just love a good leopard print. But I don’t understand the furry lumps.

Animal Man: Those are faux fur patch pockets. I’m obsessed with pockets.

Lois Lane: I’m not sure the combination of fabrics was completely successful here. It almost looks like the model was attacked by tribbles.

Q: The jacket is cut like a windbreaker. Is that vinyl?

Animal Man: It’s waterproof. I wanted to go outside the box, and as I said, I am obsessed with pockets.  I really don’t mind the tribble reference.

Lois Lane: No woman wants to wear a vinyl windbreaker covered with tribbles on the red carpet.  Even at a Tony Stark party.

Catwoman: And no one wants that many open pockets.  They can catch on things when you’re climbing up a fire escape or wriggling through air vents.

Animal Man: I stand behind my design decisions. Eveningwear never has enough pockets. And I don’t think all red carpet looks have to work on fire escapes or inside air vents. That wasn’t part of the challenge.

Catwoman: I don’t know what kind of red carpet events you go to, but in my experience, a woman has to be prepared for every eventuality.

Edna Mode: Very true. Fortune favors the prepared. At least it doesn’t have a cape.

Animal Man: I was going to make a cape, but I ran out of time because I was in hospital. Ivy touched me while we were fighting over the fake furs.

Poison Ivy: Did not.

Animal Man: It’s on tape.

Lois Lane: That’s enough, you two. Finally, Rogue, please tell us about your design.

Rogue: As the youngest designer, I knew I was at a disadvantage in fashion history. So I read up on Chanel before we got here. It’s a long red gown, cut off the shoulder in a classic silhouette with a full skirt, nipped waist and tulle. I accidentally touched my first model because there was a hole in my glove and she collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. (The model edges slightly closer to Magneto.)

Lois: Oh my.

Rogue: She’s doing fine.  But I had to recut the gown for another model.  And get new gloves, so I lost some time and wasn’t able to incorporate the bulletproofing I initially planned.

Edna Mode: It’s not very original. Chanel did the same thing in 1950, although in a different color, but it is the only red carpet gown we’ve seen.

Lois Lane: Designers, we need to discuss your designs. Please wait in the designers’ lounge and we’ll…  Superman and Magneto, I’ve spoken to you about handholding on the runway. (Superman and Magneto drop each others’ hands.)

Edna Mode: No capes. I tell them every week. Feh!

Lois Lane: Yes, thank you, Edna.  Maybe we should wait until they’re off the runway.

Catwoman: I agree with Edna.  Capes are stupid.  They just cover up bad designs.

Q: There were quite a few brightly-colored, skin-tight jumpsuits with skirts again this week.

Edna Mode:  Made from capes.  You can’t just wrap it around the waist and fool me.

Q: Agreed. It’s like almost like the only fabric some of these designers ever use is shiny spandex in primary colors. What about some nice tweed?

Lois Lane: I like spandex.

Catwoman: Then wear some. Please. It’s better than those stupid 1940’s wool crepe suits you wear every week. Your ball gown was just the same thing with a long skirt.

Lois Lane: What are you saying?

Edna Mode (hitting Catwoman with her score cards): Tact, darling! Lois, what Catwoman means is you have a wonderful figure and you should show it off to better effect.

Catwoman: Purrrfectly delightful, in fact. You’re beautiful, or you would be if you tried something more fashion forward.

Lois Lane: Fine. Fine. I’ll wear something else next week. Let’s get back to judging.

Q: So, the elimination is between Poison Ivy and Superman?

Edna Mode: No, Q. Superman was ranked in the top.  Again.  I think it should be Animal Man.  All those lumpy fur pieces. Pah!

Catwoman: Ivy’s garment tried to kill you. And, well, all that awful gingham.  It was worse than his calico pijama palazzo last week. Was he raised in a barn?

Edna Mode: Superman is in the top because of his original design elements.  We can’t eliminate him no matter how tableclothy his dress was.  At least Ivy has more design vision than “I like pockets.”

Q: True. I like her awareness of green design.

Lois Lane: So. Let’s consider the high scores. Superman for the win?

Q, Edna Mode, Catwoman: NO!

Edna Mode: We could give it to Rogue.  She’s the only one who completed the challenge and used a decent fabric.

Catwoman: What about Batman? I do love that leather catsuit.  Mreow.  And his outfit was the only one that would work inside an air vent.

Edna Mode: We can’t award Batman the win for another catsuit.

Catwoman: We can. Rogue completely ignored function by not including the bulletproofing. This catsuit is completely different from the other ones. Last week, his catsuit was charcoal grey canvas with gladiator detailing and knitted accents, and the week before it was red and purple neoprene. Plus, he made that beautiful coat. I think the leather with pink silk was a real risk.

Q: I love the catsuit.

Edna Mode: He’s clearly just sucking up to Catwoman. Darling, you must stop awarding him ‘seventy bazillion’ points and stick to the scale.

Lois Lane: I gave Superman a bazillion.  He’s just so …dreamy.

Q: We’re here to judge the clothes, Lois, not the relatively dreaminess of the contestants. If that were the case, Mystique would win every week.

Edna Mode: Pah! She could look like anything and she chooses to be a poofy-lipped stick figure.  Plus, she was eliminated last week while you were out.

Q:  That’s too bad. I vote for the catsuit. That pink zip was very fetching.

Edna Mode: And you should give up on Superman, Lois.  He’s clearly interested in Magneto.

Lois Lane: That’s just a man crush. Magneto and Mystique have been an item for a long time. (Catwoman and Edna Mode exchange significant glances. Catwoman squeezes Edna's arm.) Do we have a decision? (The judges nod.)

…

Lois Lane: Designers, the six of you have the highest and lowest scores.  Magneto, Superman, you’re both safe. You may leave the runway.  (They high five each other and lift off the runway together.) No flying! (They descend to the runway.  Superman drapes his arm over Magneto as they walk off.)

Rogue, Batman one of you will be the winner of this week’s challenge. Rogue, you made a red carpet look inspired by Chanel.  Unfortunately, it was not very original and it lacked the planned defense element.  Batman, you made a leather catsuit with a pink front zip, and Catwoman and Q both really like leather catsuits with exposed front zips.

Batman, congratulations. You’re the winner of this week’s challenge.  You will have immunity in the next challenge.

Batman (starts to cry):  Thank you so much for understanding my design vision.  (Animal Man pats him on the back.)

Lois Lane: Rogue, this was a tough decision. We liked your dress very much as well.

Rogue: Thank you. I’ll try to be more original next time.

Lois Lane: Batman, you and Rogue may leave the runway. (They leave.)

Animal Man, Poison Ivy, one of you will be out.  Poison Ivy, your garment was eco friendly but it revealed too much nipple, and it tried to kill one of the judges. Animal Man, your choice of silk was excellent, but the addition of faux fur made the model look like she was attacked by tribbles. Also, you keep letting Poison Ivy touch you, which is delaying the challenges while you recuperate.

(Poison Ivy kisses Animal Man, who collapses, frothing at the mouth.)

Ok, that’s it. Poison Ivy, you’re out. And Animal Man, you’re out, too. Someone get a medic out here. (Catwoman runs offscreen.)

Poison Ivy: No fair!  You’ll pay for this, Lane.

(Vines shoot out from under the runway.  Q and Edna Mode pull out  flame throwers to destroy the vines, which release a green gas.  The judges collapse and the camera falls over. The other contestants rush back out, led by Catwoman. All are wearing gas masks in different primary colors. Catwoman helps Batman and Magneto subdue Poison Ivy and a medical crew, also wearing gas masks, straps Animal Man to a gurney and gathers up the judges.)

Voiceover: Tune in next week to see who is in and who is out.