Challenge: Choices
Title: Wingtips and Whatsits
Author: godsdaisiechain
Fandom: Jeeves and Wooster
Type: Fic
Characters/Pairing: Jeeves, Wooster,
Word Count: ~1050
Rating: NC17
Summary: Bertie makes a choice.


Bertie Wooster was not a fool, even if the opinions of the metrop held otherwise.  A man about town sometimes had to keep his glass darkly to keep demands under the bushel. So he chose to let Jeeves think him far more feckless (if that was the word he wanted) and whatsit than he was, in fact.

Bertie thought the swimmy feeling about the pins the first time he saw Jeeves was the product of a morning head. The supper on the previous evening had been very cheerful.  But the s. feeling had persisted in the p.s., which seemed to be priming themselves for the 100-meter butterfly. And then he thought that it was simple, artless gratitude for Jeeves showing him why Lady Caligula was an apt and germane (if that was the word he wanted) description of Florence on her firmer days. It could not possibly be that the stirring in the tweeds was the symptom of a manly attraction.

After all, most chaps avoided that sort of entanglement outside Eton. Unless they were highly committed to the bohemian lifestyle.  Which did not include a valet in a personal or professional capacity. So Jeeves and Wooster ankled through the motions, making after the fairer sex, or running from them, as the sitch decreed.

And then the day came when there was another choice to be made.  Dawn rose, rosy fingered in the east, casting her glow on the fitfully dozing Wooster. Nothing was ever quite right without Jeeves about the home. As evening drew near, Bertie found himself in the bath, and Jeeves shimmered in, looking tanned and fit after a week at shrimping, catching the young master unawares.  There was nothing to hide the rising proof of the m. a.

The Jeevesian brow corrugated itself in perplexity and consternation, then the chiseled jaw slackened slightly at the glowing damask cheek.  “I apologize for intruding, sir,” he said and made to dissolve. And he tried, but a stray wing tip of the variety that Bertie sported during the J. holidays tangled itself in the valet’s feet.

The y.m. sprang from the bath like a dripping jack-in-the box, and clasped his man in two slender but wiry arms before the Jeevesian nose received any further bumps.  The valet grasped the bare waist before he realized what he was doing.  “I apologize, sir,” he began, then fell silent as their eyes met.

Some moments draw themselves out like honey dripping into a cup of Darjeeling from the tip of a silver spoon. This m. made those m.s look fleeting.  Bertie thought he could see to the bottom of his man’s soul.  And the whole way down belonged to him.

“Whatsit,” Bertie said.

“Indeed, sir,” said Jeeves.  His fingers tightened. “Will that be all?”

“If you’re able to avoid the splendid footwear,” Bertie said. The last of the Woosters loosened his hold on his man, and a narrow foot lost purchase on the tub.  Jeeves wrapped his free arm about his master, who had never been happier to lack the balance of a mountain goat hopping from alp to alp. Something bulging in the Jeevesian trouser caught the y.m’s attention.

“I say,” said Bertie.

“My apologies, sir,” said Jeeves. “I did not mean to presume.”

“By no means,” said Bertie. “You’ve prevented the grey matter, such as it is, from being splattered about the place.”

“Very good, sir,” Jeeves gathered the wingtips and other stray paraphernalia and oozed off and Bertie trickled back into his bath. There was a decision to be made. Eventually, Bertie levered himself up and wrapped himself in the toweling robe as the water cooled.  He biffed into the bedchamber to find it spotless, correct evening dress laid out.  Bertie opted for his dressing gown and slippers.

Jeeves materialized with a refreshing cocktail. “Sir?” he asked. “Are you unwell?”

“No, Jeeves, not at all,” said the l. of the W.s. “I merely heard the cocktail shaker. I suppose you want to hie forth to the Junior Ganymedes to learn all the latest news?”

“It is kind of you to think of it, sir,” said Jeeves.

“Don’t worry overmuch about the time,” Bertie said. “Biffy is having a bit of a supper this evening.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Jeeves.

Bertie staggered home just before Dawn hied forth with the glowing digits again.  He fumbled the doorknob, and Jeeves, still bedecked in proper evening dress, somehow appeared and stowed the young master within bounds before Bertie knew what had happened.

“Good morning, sir. I’ve laid out our coral pajamas,” Jeeves said.

“Whatsit,” said Bertie. “That is, whatnot, and thingummy, Jeeves.”

“Very good, sir,” said Jeeves, waiting for Bertie to slosh to the bedchamber.  Bertie made a choice.

“Warmer than ordinary whatsit, I mean, Jeeves, what?” said Bertie. “The regard, that is, Jeeves.”

“Which regard, sir?” Jeeves asked.

“For you,” Bertie said.  Jeeves froze. Another of those lingering moments occurred.  Bertie swayed gently, and Jeeves caught him by the waist before he crumpled to the floor.

Jeeves had a choice to make as well.  “Very good, sir,” he said, steering Bertie to his bedroom. “Shall I refuse visitors until after luncheon?”

Bertie dug in his heels. “Is that all you have to say in the face of my declaration?” is what he meant to say.  What came out was more of a gargle.  Jeeves eased him across the threshold of his chamber and dissolved like a mist.

When Bertie woke up, his head felt like someone had inserted a watermelon through his left ear.  Jeeves flickered in at the sound of the bell, looking much the same as usual, and bearing the dark drink against hangovers.  Against his habit, he handed Bertie the glass, allowing their fingers to brush together.

Bertie blushed. “Ah, I hope I didn’t say anything out of turn this morning.”

“Of course not, sir,” said Jeeves, allowing his mouth to turn up at one corner. “But if I may be so bold, a gentleman does have to choose carefully in these matters.”

“And so I did, Jeeves,” said Bertie, catching the tray Jeeves dropped. “But do take your own time.”

It would be some weeks before they kissed.  And some weeks more before they did anything else, but in that instant, their choice was made.