Title: Mutant Brotherhood Entrance Exam
Fandom: X-Men Movies (First Class/Days of Future Past),
Rating: PG
Length: 500
Content notes: Contains drunkenness
Author notes: For fan-flashworks for the prompt Choices
Summary: Erik writes the Mutant Brotherhood Entrance Exam. Past Erik/Charles.



Mutant Brotherhood Entrance Exam

1. Who poses the greatest threat to mutantkind?
a. Humans, but only the bad ones
b. Good humans and bad humans both
c. There’s no such thing as a good human

2. If you had a choice between saving 1000 humans or one mutant, which would you choose?
a. 1000 humans
b. 1 mutant
c. Save the 1 mutant and ask for his/her help in killing the 1000 humans

3. Helmets that protect against telepathy are:
a. An excellent strategy
b. Sexy
c. An excellent strategy AND sexy

4. Capes are:
a. Dashing
b. Fashionable
c. A terrific way to make a memorable entrance

5. If Charles Xavier or one of the X-Men tries to appeal to your ‘better nature,’ what is the best response?
a. Laugh at them
b. Attack them viciously
c. Have sex with him, then fall asleep nestled and safe in his arms, then leave early in the morning before he can make you talk about your feelings

6. Mutants should never, ever:
a. Kill other mutants
b. Kill other mutants, unless it is necessary for the cause
c. Get one’s leader drunk in order to persuade him to do karaoke

7. The most awesome karaoke song of all time is:
a. “I Will Always Love You” by Celine Dion
b. “Milkshake” by Kelis
c. “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele

8. If your supreme leader drunkenly sings “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard” at a karaoke bar, you should:
a. Never mention it again, or he will shove 1000 paperclips into your body.
b. Never mention it again, or he will shove 1000 refrigerator magnets into your body.
c. Both a and b

9. What is the best color combination:
a. Blue and yellow
b. Purple and red
c. There is no option c, don’t pressure me

10. Complete this analogy. Mutant is to human as ______ is to _______.
a. As human is to animal.
b. As sex is to foreplay.
c. As mint chocolate chip ice cream is to low fat vanilla frozen yogurt.


11. (Extra credit!) What is the best flavor of ice cream when you’re drunk?
a. Mint chocolate chip
b. Low fat vanilla frozen yogurt
c. Whatever your ex has in his freezer (there is nothing undignified about showing up in his window at 3 in the morning and asking for some ice cream and maybe for some making out and stuff and maybe he says 'Fine, all I have is frozen yogurt now go home' and he won't have sex with you because you're 'too bloody drunk, Erik, now go home, I mean it' and he's just a total jerk about the whole thing.... I SAID NOTHING UNDIGNIFIED, DAMMIT!!!)

--

Emma punched him on the shoulder.

Erik groaned. “Not now, I’m hung over.”

“You’re just lucky I caught this before you handed the test out to the new recruits,” she said. “Next time, don’t write a multiple choice test when you come home drunk and crying with ice cream all over your shirt.”

“I was not crying!”

“Just rewrite the test, okay?”

Erik grumbled half a response and sipped his coffee. He didn’t know what Emma was complaining about. The test couldn’t have been that bad.