Title: If At First You Don’t Succeed…
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: badly_knitted
Characters: Jack, Owen, Ianto, Nosy. Mentions Tosh and Gwen
Rating: G
Spoilers: Nada.
Summary: Nosy is behaving oddly. Again.
Word Count: 489
Content Notes: None needed.
Written For: Challenge #96 Music.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Torchwood, or the characters, except for Nosy.



Pop music was blaring out over the Hub’s sound system as Jack came through the cogwheel door. That wasn’t unusual; Owen liked having something to listen to while doing autopsies, and if no one was around to object, he’d turn up the volume to something just short of deafening. Everyone was so used to it by now that most days they barely noticed. So it wasn’t the music that stopped Jack in his tracks but the rather peculiar behaviour of the team’s pet Fluff.

The furry snake-like creature seemed to be attempting to slither both forwards and backwards at the same time. Needless to say, it wasn’t exactly making much progress in either direction. It looked a bit like a very large clockwork toy that had got jammed.

Flipping open his wrist strap, Jack pressed a few buttons, lowering the volume of the music to something a little easier on the ears, and shouted for the team’s doctor.

“Owen? If you can tear yourself away from whatever you’re doing, I need a second opinion.”

A moment later, Owen popped up from the autopsy bay.

“I was about due for a break anyway. What’s up?”

“I was hoping you could tell me. I think something’s wrong with Nosy.”

Owen wandered over and together they stared at the bizarre sight.

“What’s it doing?” Jack asked, his forehead creasing with worry.

“Beats me. Maybe it’s got an itch it’s trying to scratch.”

“Hmmm, maybe.”

While they were still staring, Ianto came over to join them. He’d just emerged from the archives to make coffee and was curious about what had captured the attention of the other two men.

“What’s so interesting?”

Jack glanced briefly towards his lover.

“It’s Nosy.”

“Ah.” Stopping beside Jack and shoving his hands in his trouser pockets, Ianto addressed the Fluff. “Still trying, huh?”

Nosy hummed agreement.

“I still say you’ll never do it.”

Jack and Owen turned their attention to Ianto.

“Do what?” Jack asked, confused.

“Yeah come on, enlighten us, Mr I-know-everything!”

Ianto smirked.

“Well, ever since Tosh and Gwen let Nosy join them to watch the Michael Jackson concert on TV, it’s been trying to master the art of moonwalking.”

“Really? Huh.” Jack looked back at Nosy. “Doesn’t work all that well without legs, does it.”

“Not really,” Ianto agreed, “hence Nosy’s problem. Still, if you think that’s disturbing, you should see its attempts at body popping.”

As Ianto strolled away to make the coffee, Jack and Owen looked at each other, identical expressions of horror on their faces.

“Think I’ll pass on that,” said Owen, heading back towards the autopsy bay.

“Me too.” Jack turned in the opposite direction and scurried off towards his office, shutting the door firmly behind him. Moments later, the music shut off abruptly

With the Fluff equivalent of a shrug, Nosy abandoned its dancing practice and slithered off towards the kitchen. There really was no accounting for humans sometimes.


The End