Title: No, Shawn
Fandom: Psych
Rating: G
Length: 444
Author notes: Also written for Challenge #04: The Table of Doom!!! (Phase 3) @ writerverse
Warning: None.
Summary: Shawn and Gus have a positively serious discussion.



“Do you see what I see?”

“No.”

“I mean, it’s not like I haven’t seen one before—“

“No.”

“I was probably six-ish, maybe seven-ish… Or was I five-ish? Four-ish? ”

“No, Shawn.”

“Huh? I’m sorry, Buddy. Did you say something?”

“I said no, Shawn.”

“Huh. That’s weird.”

“Why is that weird?”

“Because I have never heard you physically say no before. Sure, I’ve seen the ‘disapproving nod’, the ‘judgemental eyes’—“

“That was one time, Shawn. And you know why I gave you that look.”

“Because you’re more awesome than me.”

“You know it.”

“But Gus, even with your rigid personality to counter my playfulness—“

“Hm.”

“—I can’t help but feel that a small part of you is thinking on the possibilities.”

“…”

“You’re thinking about those possibilities, aren’t you?”

“You’re not getting me to do it, Shawn.”

“Gus! I’m offended that you think that I would ask you to do something that you don’t want to do.”

“You always ask me to do things that I don’t want to do. Actually, you force me to do things that I don’t want to do. That’s what you do, Shawn. You put me, and my car, and my credit card at risk almost every day.”

“Name one time I put your car at risk.”

“There was the time you decided holding onto three ice cream cones in the backseat was a good idea.”

“It was a good idea.”

“We were going uphill, Shawn.”

“We saw the scenery.”

“The road was extra bumpy.”

“There was nothing I could do about the road. Road construction has been pretty lax lately.”

“And we were being chased by a murderer who wanted to, and I quote, ‘Put our heads in jars… Without the bodies’.”

“Is this because I called pistachio a stupid flavour? I’m sorry, Buddy. But who in their right mind would order pistachio when they have access to chocolate? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Pistachio is just as amazing as chocolate, Shawn. You wouldn’t be saying this if you tried it sometime. It’s sweet, delicious and full of flavour.”

“Eh. I always thought it was kind of icky.”

“Eloquent.”

“Thank you. Now back to the issue at hand… Go on.”

“No, Shawn. I already told you no, and I will continue to say no.”

“Why not?”

“Because the last time you got me to do something that I didn’t want to do, you promised me a Twinkie. I’m still waiting on that Twinkie.”

“Dude. I will get you the Twinkie.”

“Promise?”

“Of course. Now be a man and ride that wooden rocking horse that’s made for children. Ignore the looks. They don’t know what fun is.”