mercury7650

Title: Abyss
Fandom: Due South
Rating: G
Length: 486
Content notes: Mild violence
Author notes: Written for Challenge 515 - Avalanche
Spoilers/Setting: Mountie on the Bounty Part 1
Summary: The aftermath of that moment on the lakeshore.

 

He stands there dripping, cold and frustrated. Ray is angry, so angry. He tries to explain his reasoning but he can’t get through, he can’t break through Ray’s obstinacy.

Ray’s not listening, he doesn’t want to listen.

Fraser is confused and more than a little unsettled by his partner’s anger. There had been no choice, Fraser had to get Ray to safety. Or at least, he thought, relative safety, away from the gunshots. There is noise and activity all around them; Detectives Huey and Dewey lead away the suspects. Ray’s efforts and his had paid off.

He focuses back on his partner. Cape? Cape? Why is Ray bringing capes into this? Fraser pulled Ray out of the water; Ray is none the worse for wear.

Fraser himself had hit the water awkwardly, his torso wrenched trying to keep a lock on where Ray went in, so he could pull him out as quickly as possible. Ignoring the debilitating pain, he’d got his partner safely out.

And now Ray stands on the shore, yelling at him about waiting for backup.

A part of him, the part that is forever a little boy living in fear of displeasing those he loves, quails before Ray’s tirade. Another part, the man that yearns for Ray to see him, to get him, suddenly decides it has had enough. His anger rises to meet Ray’s.

“What does that mean, you’re going to hit me?” he yells back.

Pain. Blinding pain.

The world stills, narrows to Ray’s eyes - the horror in them - and the ice that settles in Fraser’s limbs. Absently, Fraser tests his jaw. It doesn’t hurt as much as it should, a dull throb next to the pain that sears his soul. There’s barely a smear of blood at the corner of his lip.

He stands there in turmoil. It is the end of hope; he faces an abyss. Thoughts tumble through his head, a silent avalanche of emotions. He can’t speak. There is nothing left to say.

Fraser bows his head beneath the weight of pain, then lifts it to look away, look towards the horizon. I have nothing here, he thinks, without you. Takes a breath, nods imperceptibly to himself. Okay, then. Okay.

He forces himself to stand erect, to maintain proper posture as he turns and walks away from the man he has foolishly, irresponsibly fallen in love with.

He keeps a tight rein on his emotions, that wild tumbling chorus of Ray. Ray. RAY. Ray. and no, oh please no and see me, Ray. I love you and oh God, I can’t- that is a repeating echo within.

It’s over.

He continues walking even as his knees start to shake. A lifetime of discipline keeps him upright, sets one foot in front of the other. A lifetime of practice keeps his mask firmly in place. If his eyes look hollow behind it, well, no one’s looking.