Title: In St Andrew's Churchyard
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (ACD)
Rating: G
Length: 576
Summary: There are strange goings-on in St Andrew's Churchyard

"There's a report in the local paper about the strange lights which have been seen in St Andrew’s churchyard,” I remarked to Holmes one morning.  “It would appear that many of the residents are growing alarmed.  With the approach of All Hallows Eve, it seems many of the more superstitious are fearing the worst.”

“I am sure there is nothing to be afraid of,” Holmes replied.  “Indeed, it is my intention to prove that, while there may be something going on in the churchyard, there is nothing supernatural about it.”

Nothing more was said, and it wasn’t until I few days later when I was once more reading the local paper that I began to laugh and couldn’t resist reading out the article:

WITCHES SEEN IN GRAVEYARD

For several days St Andrew’s Church has been the site of unnatural blue lights which have floated just above the graves.  Then last night, our intrepid correspondent saw a coven of witches enter the graveyard, each bearing their broom, shortly after the lights once more became visible.  He believes the witches started to perform some sort of ritual and it was not long afterwards that a number of men were seen running from the graveyard.  Our correspondent did not remain, having no wish to encounter the witches for himself.

I would have questioned Holmes as to what he thought of this, but at that moment I heard a knock on the front door followed by Lestrade’s footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Do come in, inspector, and have a seat,” Holmes said.

“Thank you, Mr Holmes.  I’m not sure how much you were involved with last night’s activities, but I’m sure you are due my thanks.”

Mrs Hudson, who had followed the inspector in, carrying our coffee, muttered something which I suspected wasn’t too complimentary.

Lestrade, however, turned to our landlady and said, “While we do not encourage members of the public to engage with our local villains, on this occasion we are very grateful to you and your ladies for their assistance.  You will be delighted to hear that nearly all the gang willingly surrendered themselves to us and had no problem in naming the ringleaders.  It appears that it is one thing to use apparently supernatural means to frighten the local population, but it was quite another when it was turned against them.”

“And so it should be,” Mrs Hudson said, before departing.

By now I was no doubt looking suitably puzzled, so Holmes very kindly decided to provide an explanation.  “As I told you when you first mentioned the problem to me,” he began, “I had determined to reproduce the blue lights myself.  I had just succeeded in my task when Esme came in to clean and called out, ‘Mrs Hudson, those lights are here too.’  Before I had time to explain, our redoubtable landlady had arrived, bearing a broom together with a bucket of water.  I hurriedly explained that water would be of no use, but that baking soda might well prove effective, as indeed would the broom she was carrying.  I tried to explain the chemistry behind the process, but this did not seem to be of any interest, since she simply said, ‘Come, Esme, we have work to do.’”

“But surely, Holmes,” I protested, “you should have warned her against dealing with the problem herself.”

“My dear fellow,” he replied, “like your newspaper’s correspondent, I had no wish to encounter a coven of witches.”