Title: The Invisible Bridge
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Child with Leukemia (Not Daniel or Chris)
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Natalia Dollenmeyer, Background Pairings
Tags: Post Season 6, Canon Divergence, Angst, Ambiguous but Hopeful Ending
Summary: There was never another choice for Buck when it came to this path.
Word Count: 10,250
Author Notes: At work, there is a quote on the wall outside the cancer center "The bridge we don't see becomes visible once we allow courage and determination guide us to it." It doesn't list who said it, and I cannot find anything online. Also, F--- CANCER!
Beta: Grammarly
Buck stopped as the little girl just kept on crying. He looked around for the people who were with her. There were a lot of parents at the park, and now that the two kids had been injured in the fight between the adults. It was strange to have someone not run up to the girl. She was sitting by herself, and there was no one even looking at her at all. There were a lot of things that started to go through Buck's head as he looked at the girl.
"Bobby?" Buck asked.
"Yes?"
Buck pointed at the girl and the fact that no one was coming to her.
"Oh. Yeah. 'Thena?" Bobby called out.
Athena turned from where she was talking to a few bystanders, and she frowned before waving the bystanders to talk to other officers. She came over to the little girl and tried to talk to her.
"We gotta go," Bobby said.
"I know. I know." Buck kept his eyes on the little girl even as Athena stood up with her. It wasn't long before they were fully out of sight. He was getting ready to get into the truck when Athena came toward them.
"Bobby!"
Buck looked back, smiling at the little girl who wasn't crying anymore.
"We need a ride to the hospital."
The girl reached out for Buck, and he took her. She giggled as she latched onto him.
"How about you follow in your car, and we will make sure she's fine."
---
Buck danced a little as he made his way toward his phone. It was ringing on the kitchen counter. He paused when he saw the number. It wasn't one that was on his contact list, but it was local, and then the phone changed to tell him that it was official like.
"Hello?" Buck asked.
"Evan Buckley?"
"Yes, this is him."
"Hello, my name is Maria, and I am a social worker. This is a bit irregular, but...I'm at my wit's end, trying to place a little girl in my system. She was given the name of Elena Doe after she was found in the park by you and an officer named Athena Grant three years ago. I've noticed that you are a foster parent in the system."
"Yes, I did that about a year ago."
"Look, I'll be honest; I'm doing this to save a life. The money is not an issue; the medical care is not an issue. Her diagnosis is not an issue. It's...she doesn't care. She's not fighting for herself in the care."
"I'm going to put you on speaker, Maria. I'm here alone, but I'm better when my hands can move around. So, tell me about this wonderful little girl." Buck transferred the phone to where he could mess around the kitchen and listen to Maria.
"I don't want to be accused of tricking you. She has juvenile leukemia."
Buck nearly dropped the pan he was pulling out to work on his lunch.
"She's not fought a single thing, but her last three families thought they could deal with the whole situation. They could not. I think Elena's given up on life because no one wants her."
"Are you wanting me to take her?"
"Yes, I am. The notes from the ER when she was taken in by you, and Sergeant Grant list that she responded to you well, and you went to see her a few times until the caseworker at the time told you that you needed to back off because she wasn't connecting with anyone. If I had been her caseworker at the time, I would have asked you to get everything you needed to take care of her."
"Adoption?"
"She was changed from unadoptable to adoptable due to the length of them and the fact that the family was never found about six months ago when she started the treatment for her leukemia."
Buck knew that he was going to take her. He did not have a place that was good enough for her. He could see about getting the living room turned into a room while he found a place for them to live that would pass what was going to be needed for him to take her.
"There is just one big issue. I have a loft apartment. It's got a single room up a set of stairs. I could have the living room turned into a bedroom for her with various screens to make sure it's enclosed of sorts until I can find a place to live."
"Well, there is always that kind of concession in cases of cancer patients and other ill children. It's not like a lot of houses have rooms on the first floor that can be turned into bedrooms. And the stairs are always a big issue with them. That's not going to be an issue for me at all as long as she's got a bed and a place she can go where it's quiet."
"I have a TV in my bedroom, so that's not going to be an issue. Everyone is going to call me crazy and stupid for this, but...and I know that you cannot know this and weren't using it as a manipulation tactic, but I was a savior sibling, Maria. I was one when my brother died after the bone marrow transplant didn't take."
"She's not at that part yet, but it might be needed. I'm sorry about your brother, and you are correct that I would never have done this as a manipulation tactic. I'm just worried about her."
"Where is she right now? When can I see her? When can I take her?"
"Well, she's at the facility right now, and today is paperwork and getting your place set up. I'll be there at six tomorrow morning to look it over, and then we can go over everything. This is going to be an emergency placement, and the judge will even be coming to your place. When do you work?"
"Well, today is the first of four I have off."
"Great. Tomorrow she has an all-day treatment, so you can come with me after all of that with things to keep yourself entertained but be with her all day. She sleeps for most of it, but that could be just not caring anymore."
"And if she doesn't respond like you want?"
"I will still know I have tried everything I can to help her live."
Buck grabbed a notepad and started to write everything down. He would get lunch while out, and he would get a hold of Conner and see if the man could help him with everything. Out of everyone in his life, Conner wouldn't look at him like he was wrong for doing this.
"I have a girlfriend. Natalia Dollenmeyer works as a death doula. I'm sure that you want to look into her a little bit or something. I've already started a list of things I need to do, and I know someone who can help me find a place with four bedrooms."
"Four bedrooms?"
"My best friend, Eddie Diaz, I work with him. He's got a son, and he stays over a lot. Before this, Eddie and I shared a bed in the loft while Chris slept on the couch. He likes my couch better than his own. At least until I had to get rid of it."
"Get rid of it?"
"My other friend's wife went into labor and gave birth on the couch."
"Buck, can I say that your life is a lot? But I think that it's the kind of life that proves to me that you are a good man. You do what you need, and I'll do what I need. Then if things go well, maybe in about six months, we can discuss adoption."
"Okay. Thank you for thinking of me. I'll be everything that she needs."
"I have no doubt."
---
"Buck?" Natalia called out as she stepped inside the apartment. She looked around to find her boyfriend. She heard the sound of something heavy being set down and followed the noise.
The last time she had come into the place, when the door was propped open, Kameron had been in the middle of giving birth.
This time Conner was standing to the side, dusting off his hands as he looked at the bed that was now where the couch had been. The couch was off to the side, looking like they were trying to figure out what to do with it.
"Is Chris staying over for a while?"
Conner just laughed.
"Shut up, Con. Natalia, I'm glad you could come over today...I know that you and I are dating-"
"I'm going to head out and get the rest of the stuff out of the truck and into the service elevator, Buck. You handle this. I'll be fine alone." Conner clasped Buck on the shoulder before he made his way around him. "Go easy on him."
Natalia was even more confused than she had been when she walked inside. There had been so much about this that was just confusing.
"I am taking in a foster kid. I found her in the park three years ago. She was abandoned in the park, and while there was a search made into who she is along with how she was left there like that, she didn't have a name other than Mommy for her mother, and she had no clue where they lived or anything. She was about three years old. She's going through treatment for leukemia, and the case worker thinks she's given up. I was close to her, but the former caseworker felt like I was hurting her, so I backed off."
"And you are getting her a room set up to have her live here."
"Yes."
"Okay, okay. Wow. There is never a dull moment in the life of Evan Buckley. What do you need me to do?"
"Linens. I went to the furniture store with Conner and got the bed frame. I have been told her favorite colors are purple and red. My tablet has the file that Maria sent me. Tomorrow I'll be signing the paperwork and spending the day at the hospital with her as she gets her treatment. You don't need to be there for that, in part or in whole. I will be busy all day with her, and then we will be coming back here. I am not sure what she's going to feel like on food for the day."
"I have some recipes if you get me allergies and dislikes, I can get that set up for dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, it should be just you two there at the hospital, well, and whatever person go with her to make sure you aren't going to hurt or she's not going to freak out about a stranger. She's a kid, she might remember you, and she might not."
Buck nodded. He waved at the bed and the furniture that was all around it.
Natalia nodded her head. She pulled out her phone and took a few pictures. She needed to know what each piece was like to know if what she wanted would fit.
"She's become attached to hummingbirds; I was told when Maria called back to change the time that a judge is coming here in the morning to deal with the pavement."
"How are you getting around the bedroom thing?"
"Her prognosis. The stairs. Maria said that not all houses have rooms capable of housing a bed and stuff in it, and in cases of illness like this, there is a way to make sure that things are done in the living room or even a dining room.
"That's good. I'm glad. Are you looking for a bigger place?"
"four bedrooms so that she has her room, Chris has his, and Eddie or anyone else has a bed they can stay in. I bought this place outright, and there is a rental place looking to buy up the places in the building that they can for businesses all around here. They have approached me before. So I'll probably go with them since it would be an easy sell."
"I'll get everything she needs. Limit?"
"Not really. I don't really care. Did you want cash or a card?"
"You'd trust me with a card?" Natalia wasn't shocked, but at the same time, she was. It was Buck to a T, and one of the reasons she was attracted to him. He saw the happiness in life, and she had trouble with it at times in her job. Especially when she was brought in on a life that was ending too soon.
Natalia knew that Buck understood that he could be getting attached just to lose the child. That she might not live. He knew that from his own brush with it, even if he was too young to know it and forgot and then had been lied to his whole life. There was so much to unpack in all of that, but Buck would give his all to the little girl until she was gone or she lived.
She didn't have to wonder why the caseworker had wanted to place the girl with Buck. The man had too much heart for this world sometimes.
---
"And then Buck gave me flowers. I kept them until they faded, but my foster mom at the time pressed one and kept it pretty before putting it as a bookmark."
Buck watched Elena as she showed off the bookmark pressed between plastic.
"And why did Buck leave you?" the nurse asked as she drew blood from the girl's arm.
"He had to. I asked my caseworker once, and she blew me off, but I think she made him go away. He's a firefighter."
Elena's nurse seemed to realize that someone was there, and she turned to look as she pulled the butterfly needle from her arm. She frowned at him for a second before Elena caught on what drew her attention.
"BUCK!" Elena screamed in a very much not inside voice.
"He's real?" the nurse asked.
"Of course he is! I don't tell lies."
"I'm sorry I didn't think you were lying so much as I thought he was an imaginary friend."
"No, he and Sergeant Grant saved me from the park when my mother left me there." Elena was bouncing in her seat, and Buck was glad she didn't have a needle in her anymore.
"Well, we will check your blood here and let you catch up with Buck," the nurse said.
When she passed, Buck saw her name was Christy.
"How are you doing this morning, Elena?"
"Why are you here?" Elena looked at the woman sitting with her.
"My name is Julie, Mister Buckley. I've not told her anything. I thought that maybe you would like to do that. I'll pull the curtain and go and get us our normal drinks; how does that sound?"
"What do you get?" Buck asked.
"A smoothie. They have a few really good ones here."
"Get me one, please." Buck handed over two twenties. "I have snacks and stuff for us; Maria sent over a list of things she likes. She didn't have anything listed for you, so get yourself a few things as well."
"Of course. Elena, I'll be right back."
Buck sat down where Julie had been, and he looked at Elena, who was so excited looking.
"I'm glad you came back."
"I would have been here from the first moment you had a diagnosis, but I was unable to. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Now, as to what Julie talked about. Maria called me yesterday. I talked with a judge this morning and got my loft set up for you yesterday as well. My girlfriend, Natalia, helped me pick out girly enough things for you. If there is anything you don't like, we can change that."
"I'll go home with you today?"
Yes. Everything is set up and ready for you. Maria will come by in a few days. Once she's done here, Julie will head to where you have been staying and take our things to my place."
"Will Natalia like me?"
"Yes. I also have a godson of sorts, Chris, who is going to love you. Then there is my adult best friend, Eddie. He is Chris' dad. He's going to let you wrap him around your little finger."
Elena giggled and nodded before she tucked her legs up onto the chair she was in. There were a lot of other kids around. More than Buck wanted to think about. He also knew that some of these kids were in there for things other than cancer. It was never good that they were there, but at least he didn't have to think about the kids dying.
"What about everyone else?"
"Not sure. So once you are settled in, we have our drinks, and Julie comes back, we can talk a little more about a few things, but the first thing I want to say is that I am doing this for you. There is no other reason. I lonely stopped seeing you because I was told that if I didn't, I would get in trouble with the law."
"I didn't like the lady who was my caseworker before. I like the new lady. She likes me a lot and cares. She is the one that found Julie for me as a caretaker since I need a little more help than normal."
"I bet. Which has me wanting to ask you something else. The state pays for her while you're in the care of them, and they will continue until such a time that I adopt you and my insurance covers you fully. But Chris has a home health aide. She is someone who can take care of you, and I love her to bits. Do you want to meet her? Chris won't need someone watching him during the day for much longer and would maybe need her at night when Eddie and I are working. There are also a lot of family members who can watch him at night.
"Is she nice?"
"She's the nicest. Carla is wonderful. If you want, I can make sure that she is there when you meet Eddie and Chris tomorrow unless there's going to be too many people."
"no. It's good. I want to meet her. I like Julie, and she's really nice, but she has a lot of patients already, and I know she gives me more attention because of my sickness. Would they come to us?"
"Yes, Carla would come to you and Chris as well. If we did that. Since you are the sicker of the two, and it's nice to have your things around, if you don't like Carla, we will keep Julie or see if Carla knows someone you might like better. You never, ever have to tolerate someone you don't like."
Elena nodded. She hugged her legs a little tighter. She was smiling despite looking tired.
"Bethy," Elena said.
Buck looked to the side to see another nurse standing there.
"So I heard that your Buck finally made his way here. I'm happy to see him."
"Buck, this is Bethy; she's my doctor."
"I'm going to steal Buck for a few minutes while Christy gets you set up for the fluids that you are going to be getting today. I'll return him when I'm done. I just have some paperwork that needs to be filled out so we can get a hold of him and things he needs to look for when he takes you home tonight."
"Maria called you?"
"She did. I'm glad that someone is taking an interest. It warms my heart."
"I'll be back," Buck said. He leaned over and kissed Elena's forehead. She wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could before finally letting him go.
Buck wasn't looking forward to what was coming but needed to know.
---
Natalia wasn't shocked that Buck was worn out by the time he got home. She also wasn't shocked that he was carrying Elena inside. She was asleep on his chest, wrapped around him like a monkey.
"How about I go and get the rest of the stuff from the Jeep?" She held out her hand, and Buck gladly dropped the keys in there.
The bags in the Jeep were not a lot; just the bag that Buck had packed for him for the day as well as Elena's, were the things she might need while at treatment. The nearly all-day treatment had been tiring as even Buck stopped texting her halfway through.
The bedroom for Elena was set up, and the living room area was a little more crowded. The couch that Natalia had picked out with Buck looked way too big now, but it was only temporary.
Once Natalia had finished what work she needed to do for the day, she worked on listings in the area that wasn't too far from Eddie's, Durand School, and the 118. There were a few pages of printouts she had done. Buck at least had a place to start as well as make a few notes of what he wanted and didn't want on each one when he went to look at them with inside looks.
When Natalia got back inside, she heard Buck talking to Elena. She looked toward the living room to see they were on the couch, with Buck holding Elena in his lap and rubbing her back. He looked up at her with a grim smile on his face.
A chime from Buck's phone had her looking at it. She picked it up to take it to him, but he shook his head and mimed for her to open it.
Natalia only had his code from when she had been there for the birth of the baby.
Natalia typed in what she thought it was, but it buzzed her. She looked at Buck to see him holding up the first number. Natalia nodded, and she typed that in. The message was from Eddie.
"Oh, Eddie and Chris came over for dinner. They are bored."
"Hey, Elana, want to meet Eddie and Chris today, and then you can meet Carla tomorrow."
"Can Chris have a sleepover?"
"Sure. I'll...figure something out about that."
"I can leave so Eddie can sleep in your bed.
"Nah, I can sleep in the middle with you two boxing me in, so you aren't sleeping beside him if you don't want to. The new big bed of mine will fit all three of us. It was the last time Chris had a nightmare, and he wanted to be between us. Text back to bring stuff for a sleepover as Eddie took most of their stuff home last time since the season has been changing to hotter."
"Will do." Natalia dropped into a seat at the island had she looked at them. Elena was asleep again.
Eddie: Who is this?
Buck: It's Natalia. Buck's indisposed, but I talked to him. How did you know?
The phone rang instead of a text. Natalia answered it.
"Buck doesn't sound like that, and I honestly have no answer other than that. Is everything okay?"
"Buck is just fine, but what he's got going is something for him to tell you in person, not over the phone. I promise. I have dinner, and please, don't bring anything food-related over beyond ice cream or popsicles."
"This is not helping me with thinking that everything is okay. Nor that we should come over."
"I promise you that Buck is not sick; I'm not sick. It's just...please. Buck wants you here. Please."
"Chris is already ready. I just need to head out, and we will be there soon. Should I come up and let us in?"
"Yes. Are you hungry?"
"We are."
"Then I'll get dinner started. Now, I know that you like heat, but Chris?"
"About half of what I like."
"Okay. I can do that. Now, get here soon. Be prepared to spend the night. Buck's already worked on plans for that, and just remember that Buck thinks things through."
"I know he does; why would you even think to say something like that?"
"Because I've heard a few comments from the people at the station, and while you are his best friend, that doesn't mean that you are exempt from saying something mean to him."
"I guess that's why he commented that you see him better than anyone else."
"It won't be true much longer. I'll see him like you guys do, through the eyes of the past without growth."
Eddie made a noise, and Natalia wasn't sure it was a good sound.
"Be there soon." Eddie hung up before Natalia could say anything else.
Buck was sleeping when Natalia checked on him and Elena. Natalia could see they were both tired, so she left them like they were. She got the food started to be warmed up again. The chicken would be good, and she had made sure to make some bland for Elena. The meal was well thought out, she hoped, based on what she knew of the patients she helped with for their end of life with cancer. She was well prepared for all of this.
There was going to be no protecting Buck's heart. She knew from the moment she had found him the night before that he was too gone already. It was the biggest part of his job that she knew he would never be able to do. Letting go of the people like that. She worked through her own stages of grief with each of her people whom she helped find their own end in their own way.
Eddie and Chris arrived much faster than Natalia thought they would. Buck and Elena were still asleep on the couch.
"Ay Dios, is that the girl from the park?" Eddie asked as he looked at Elena.
"I think that is where Buck said he met her three years ago."
"Is she sick?" Chris asked.
"Hey, Chris!" Buck called out softly. He turned his head to where he was looking at Chris. "Come over here and meet Elena."
Chris made his way over slowly, and Eddie followed behind. Natalia stayed back to let Chris and Eddie get closer.
Eddie looked back at Natalia before he looked at Buck and the kid. He remembered well the day they had responded to the park, and Buck had ended up finding a kid who had been left in the park. Eddie thought about her from time to time but hadn't ever reached out more. He didn't have any idea what the hell was going on.
Chris got closer and got up on the couch with Buck and Elena. Eddie's gaze went around the whole living room, which had a few screens blocking stuff from being visible. He figured that it was set up like a bedroom.
"Hi," Elena said.
"Hi, my name is Chris."
"Elena. Buck was telling me you like to play the Switch. Can I...can I watch you play?"
"Sure."
"Where do you want to lay down?"
"Here is fine. Can Chris play from here?"
"Sure." Buck pressed a kiss to the girl's head, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds.
Eddie knew the girl was sick but wasn't sure what was wrong with her. There was a bag beside the girl. Eddie grabbed it so that Buck could get her laid down.
"She might fall asleep, so don't worry if she does. She's just tired from her treatment today."
Treatment. Eddie swallowed. He knew that it was used for a variety of things, but in day-to-day life, it was cancer for most people for context. Eddie wanted to ask what Buck thought he was doing, but he stopped himself. Natalia's words sunk in. She saw him for who he was now, not with a shadow of who he used to be holding them back.
"Dinner's about twenty minutes out," Natalia said.
Eddie looked at the woman who Eddie wasn't sure was good enough for Buck, but today he thought maybe she was the kind of person he needed.
"Let's go talk," Buck said.
"Yes, let's." Eddie followed him to the kitchen, where he got settled at the bar while Buck worked on making tea.
"Her newest caseworker called me, and I...I couldn't say no, and I didn't want to. She was fighting for herself. She had been through too many homes while in treatment so far. She was afraid that Elena was going to give up on life and not make it because she had no one to fight for."
"Which is why she contacted you, but how did she know?"
"I used to go and see her until the old caseworker threatened me with legal action to get me to stop. I still don't know what she thought I was doing. I didn't want to hurt her. I was just...attached. She perked up a lot today since I was there with her for her long day of treatment."
"You are fostering her?"
"With the aim of adoption six months down the road, yes."
"Buck," Eddie said. He could feel his heart breaking for him. "You-"
Buck shook his head. "I thought this through, Eddie. I spent several hours thinking about it. There was no point where I was going to say no. Even if this is just to make her happy in the time she has left."
"What is it?" Eddie asked.n"Same thing as Daniel. Which I was a little shocked about. She's doing good, and I've already done what's needed to test to see if I'm a match for her or not. I'll know when I know. I can't just leave her."
"No, you couldn't. I never knew you went to see her."
Buck shrugged his shoulders as he worked on getting the plates set up for their dinner. He grabbed some napkins and started to get the utensils ready.
"Natalia, where did you move the TV trays?"
"They are behind the TV stand. Two on each side. I put the stand in storage downstairs in the storage locker."
"Okay. Oh, that reminds me, Eddie; what do you think about this house?" Buck slid a sheet of paper over to Eddie.
Eddie took the sheet. It was one that was literally next door to him. The older lady there was mean as hell, but she took care of her place. Eddie wasn't even aware she was selling the place. The paperwork there showed that she was.
"I've been inside of there once before helping her with shutting off a pipe that was leaking until her grandson could get there to take care of it. There is no for sale sign out front."
"Yeah, I double-checked this last night. It's in my price range."
"Price...you are moving."
"I can't stay here. While they are allowing it with the bedroom she has right now because of her illness, a place where she can have a true bedroom would be better. Natalia found a few places, and this one was one I knew before I even read the address. Of course, I wasn't even aware it was for sale."
"It's a good house. She takes care of it, and her husband did as well. It's going to go fast, but she likes me, and she loves you."
Buck laughed, and he nodded his head. Eddie knew that Buck had helped her with a few things, but she never got any nicer. Still, she liked Buck.
"I can put in a call and make sure that the realtor knows who I am and talks to her about it. I mean, she hates you, but she likes Chris enough not to yell at him as much as she did other kids."
Eddie looked back to where Elena was asleep again. Buck was in over his head, but there was no getting him out of it. Buck had already given his heart over to that little girl.
"I'll call about it. I'll call Mrs. Cochran myself, and we can talk about it and make sure that she understands who it would be through that the offer would come." Eddie knew that Mrs. Cochran knew Buck would take care of the house. The death of her husband had been the thing that had shifted her from what Eddie had been told.
"Not going to yell at me?" Buck asked.
"No, I'm not. You have made your decision, and I think it's an honorable one. What about when you are at work?"
"She has an aide that the state pays to be with her. I was going to see about setting something up tomorrow where you could bring Carla with you when you came over, but then you and Chris were bored tonight. I'll get a hold of her and have her come over...she's lonely, and that's the crux of it. She's been alone for this. Julie helps her a lot and really everyone around her, but it's different than if a person who is supposed to be your parent is right there with you. I know how it feels."
Eddie knew that at the base of it, that was the thing. "Did you know before?"
"That it was like Daniel? I knew she was sick, but as soon as she called and I realized that she wanted me to take Elena, I knew I was going to do it. Then it was like him."
Natalia came up behind Buck and wrapped her arms around him, holding on.
"So you told us to bring stuff for sleeping over."
"Chris can sleep on the couch. We can all share a bed with me in the middle; it's big enough. After Taylor left, taking the bed as well since she hated my old one, I knew I should just get a bigger one. You probably didn't even notice at all."
Eddie laughed a little, and he thought about how he hadn't noticed at all. "I'll handle Carla. Don't worry about that. She gets paid to take care of Chris, so it's not going to be a deal to have her with Elena as well. Chris is needing less and less, and outside of his surgery next year, she'll be doing less. So, it would be easy to transition her from him to Elena for the most part."
"That's what I was thinking, then Carla still can be around if Chris needs her, but he won't feel like he's being watched by her as much."
Eddie looked at Elena again to see her laughing a little as Chris drove off the side of the track. He had already lost his heart and hadn't even really talked to the girl. "Okay, so damage control. Your sister and Chim are not going to be happy about this. Bobby's going to act like he didn't think this through. Athena's going to be heartbroken that Elena is going through this after being abandoned."
"I..." Buck bit his lip, and he laughed a little. "I was worried about their reactions, but honestly, if they don't accept me for who I am and what I do, then I don't want them in my life. I love Bobby like a father like he was the father I wish that I had had, but I agree that doesn't always mean that I need to keep him in my life with the same boundaries."
"No, there needs to be a good boundary. One that you keep on this. Bobby will have to take that into everything. He will give you the time you need."
"I can mostly schedule her treatments around my work schedule. We've already talked about that. Her doctor and I got everything set up. We worked around it, and sometimes I might need to not be where when she gets set up like today, but I can be there for most of it. I won't be taking any extra shifts."
"She looks happier now than she was before I got to her. I watched her for a few minutes, but she was so lonely looking. She knew me. Told stories about me, but the majority of them there thought that I was an imaginary friend. It was good to show them she didn't just make me up. I get why they thought that. Still, this is what I have going. This is going to be my life. Are you in or out?"
"I'm in. I told you before that I have your back, and while things were a little wrong before we cleared the air between us, I know we are good now. I will always have your back."
---
Buck sat down at the table and looked at where Maddie and Chim were. The next shift was already there, and while Buck would rather do this anywhere but here, he had been given no choice when Chim called Maddie to tell her he had done something stupid. Buck hadn't told anyone what he had done, not beyond Bobby. He knew that Bobby hadn't told anyone else, so he wasn't sure what Chim thought he was revealing with all of this.
Eddie had left when he realized that Buck would be stuck there. He had gone home to settle in what Elena and Chris had for the day and give Carla some time off.
Elena had wrapped Carla around her finger, and Carla was more than willing to add her to what she did. It was summer, so neither of the kids had school; Elena was doing online anyway with how sick she was, even between her treatments. So, things were settled, and in the morning, Carla would pick up Elena from Buck's place and then head to Eddie's. Chris was left alone for only a short time because Eddie left for work before Carla got there.
"What is this?" Bobby asked as he sat down beside Buck at the table.
"I am not sure. Maddie showed up and said she needed to talk to me about something stupid I had done. I am not sure what stupid thing I have done."
"Chim texted me yesterday that he knew you had done something as you spent time in the office with Bobby, then I got a call this morning from a friend of mine who said that she finally figured out where she knew the person who had taken in a foster kid with cancer from, but she did this morning when she saw my post on Facebook. She was visiting her aunt who was having treatment, so she didn't break any laws."
"Just the ones of decency," Athena said.
Buck looked back to see her stepping up with her hands on her hips as she looked at Maddie.
"He adopted a kid with cancer!" Maddie nearly yelled.
"And?" Bobby asked.
"He's going to ruin his life. Look at what losing a kid to cancer did to our family. He'll ruin his entire life, and it looks like no one cares."
"Oh no, I care." Bobby looked at Maddie with disapproval all over his face. "But I'm going to support him and make sure if that day comes, he gets help and doesn't do that. He's already better than your family because he works on himself. He's got Natalia to help him deal if it comes to that. He's got Eddie and Chris to make sure he doesn't fully drown in grief, and I assumed he would have you supporting him no matter what."
"I can't get close to her. I can't. I can't lose anyone like that again."
"That's your choice, Maddie," Buck said. He wasn't sure that it would stick for long before Maddie made his boundary, something that made her life wrong. She had done it before when it was about Daniel and giving him space at work. When it was what she wanted, there was a lot of pushing what she wanted but not what Buck wanted.
"You would give up your niece?" Chim asked.
"I've gotten to know her pretty well, Chim, but before this...I hadn't really seen her or had any interaction with her for the first year of her life. There is not a lot of bond between us there. I love her, but if this is a line in the sand, yes, I'm going to put Elena, a girl who was not even fighting for her own life. I love Jee-Yun, but I won't let my love for her be used as a reason why I need to do something I know is wrong."
Chim flinched. It was still something that had never been talked about between them. Buck didn't really care to. Chim made his bed, and he proved everything with it. He was more than willing to be kind to him at work and deal with things in private as he needed, but even just having Elena for a short time showed him that he needed to change his life some.
Natalia had helped him talk a few things out, and she had been a good ear to listen to him about everything that had gone on in his life to help him if he started to backslide. She had also pressed him to talk to Doctor Copeland more about everything. That had been a long conversation, and for once, Doctor Copeland hadn't looked at him like she was disappointed in a choice he had made.
"This is not going how I thought it would," Chim said.
"Why?" Buck asked.
"I assumed you would have a story about you helping someone. I didn't think you would take on a kid who was sick at all."
"I saw her a lot after Athena, and I helped her calm down from the park."
"That girl who had been abandoned?"
Buck nodded his head.
"You did get attached to her. I just...I can't understand what you have done. I don't get it, but I respect it. I will work out something where you can see Jee-Yun."
"No," Maddie said.
"Maddie," Chim said.
"No, I will not have Jee getting attached to the sick kid. No. Forget it." Maddie got up and left.
Chim gave Buck a sorry look before he followed her.
Buck had wondered for a while if they were even going to stay in LA. It seemed like they were both pulling away from everyone around them since the whole engagement thing had happened.
"Where is Eddie?" Bobby asked.
"He went to make sure that Elena didn't freak out about me not getting home quickly. We've been working on that one, but it's only been days. I was late the other day, and Natalia had to deal with a minor meltdown."
"How are you doing, baby?" Athena asked.
"Good. I'm adjusting. Eddie's working on his neighbor to get her to sell her place to me. I have a company interested in my loft to rent to visiting people or short-term rentals for various things. It's been months since they talked to me."
"Can I see her?" Athena asked.
"She said she wanted to see you soon, so if you want to stop by later, you can. What are you doing here?"
"Bobby wanted backup to deal with those two once he realized Maddie was here to ambush you. I was coming here to get him anyway. He took his car in for a few small things that needed to be fixed up yesterday. We can pick it up at any time. Do you want us to get breakfast and then head over to your place?"
"Eddie's place. I pick her up from there, and since it's easier and better spaced, it's the best place for her during the day. Carla picks her up from me and takes her over there. Eddie usually leaves Chris alone for about five minutes. If I end up taking the house beside Eddie's, then things will be different on that front, and Carla would move the kids between the house as they want."
"Sounds like you have this all planned out. You aren't taking Eddie's neighbor's house 'cause it's his neighbor, are you?"
"No, no. It's already set up for his older neighbor, with a lot of disability aides scattered around the house. It's kind of perfect for Chris and for Elena as she does get very tired very quickly. She takes good care of the place, and her husband did before her. She's moving into a place that is a lot closer to one of her kids, a few cities away. She likes me as much as she likes anyone. I'm just hoping she goes for that over the biggest offer on the place."
"Well, text us what you want for breakfast; we will head and get Bobby's vehicle and then go home to let him get changed out of the clothes he wore in yesterday and into something a little more kid-friendly. We will head over to your place after that with breakfast."
"Okay, I'll prep Eddie and the kids for you guys coming over. Elena's going to be excited, and Chris so far hasn't had an issue with sharing, but we are looking forward to that at some point."
"Get out of here," Bobby said with a smile on his face.
---
Eddie picked up his light jacket before looking at Chris, where the boy was still working on whatever he was doing. It was top secret which meant that Eddie wasn't supposed to even be looking at them.
It wasn't cold outside, but Buck had already texted him that it was cold in the pod that they were in that day since it was warmer than average outside right now.
"Ready?" Eddie asked.
"Five minutes," Chris said.
"Buck and Elena rea hungry; I'm sure Natalia is as well." Eddie checked his watch and thought about the whole big meal that Natalia was picking up for all of them. He was hungry and wanted to get going so he could eat.
"Three minutes," Chris said. He was dressed and ready to go, so it was just whatever his project was that needed to be packed up.
Two minutes later, Chris shoved whatever he was working on into the case that Buck had bought him years ago for storing things. The handle was a little longer than normal and could be used with Chris' crutches. Eddie was going to be the one carrying it today, but that was okay. They finally made their way out to the truck, and Eddie looked at the house next door. He smiled as it was just about another week, and Buck thought he would have the place set up to where he and Elena could move in. Her bedroom was the biggest thing since it would have to be moved the same day they moved in and be set up with the medical stuff they had.
The loft looked like a ghost town when they went in there with just the kitchen stuff and Elena's bedroom. The new heating and cooling unit was going to be installed in four days, and then Buck wanted to clean the place well from top to bottom to get as much dust and other things that had collected out before moving Elena in. The new system had a much better filter on it than what was typically installed in a house to help with dust, as Elena's biggest allergy was dust, and it was hard to keep it out with the air on as much as they had it.
"Eddie?" Marisol asked.
Eddie looked back at her, and he smiled. "Hey, we didn't make plans did we?"
"No, I was just close to here and knew you had today off. Sorry, I'm interrupting something."
"You are not. We were heading to visit Elena for about an hour. I would love for you to come with us. She'll be happy to have someone new to talk to before she goes to sleep for the afternoon."
"Are you sure?"
Eddie nodded. Natalia always brought more food than they could eat; even the nurse who was over Elena's pod got fed. "You can follow us, or I can drive us."
"I'll go with you, and if she doesn't want me there, I can hang out in the hospital or outside somewhere until it's time to go."
Marisol hadn't met Elena yet, with Buck being a little more protective of Elena and who she met.
"DAD! We are going to be late!"
Eddie rolled his eyes. Chris was the reason they were late, to begin with. He didn't say that, as he didn't need Chris roasting him the entire way to the hospital.
"Front?" Marisol asked.
"Yes. Chris still likes the back of the truck," Eddie said.
Chris laid his box down on the seat when Eddie offered it up to him.
"I think there are plenty of things that are being served, so I hope you find something you like enough to make a meal."
"I'm sure that I will. Let's go, Eddie."
Chris laughed, so Eddie got the truck started, and he checked to make sure Chris was buckled in, and he checked Marisol as well. It was always his way of things. He just wasn't sure what kind of traffic he would expect, and even though the hospital wasn't that far, he never took chances.
"Is she doing well today?"
"She is. Buck's been texting me on and off. Usually, when he's bored. There is not a lot of summation when she's asleep, but he's working on things to do that don't wake her up."
Eddie kept on with help from Chris about a few things that Buck had texted them about today. The parking for the cancer center part of the children's hospital wasn't nearly as full as it usually was, which meant that the security was doing better at making sure that no one parked there who wasn't allowed. Eddie had a pass, just like Buck. Natalia would be parking elsewhere, even if Eddie had offered up his pass for her.
"Dad, don't forget the cards!"
Eddie grabbed the box even as Marisol helped Chris out the other side of the truck. It was the side closer to the hospital, which was good as there was a small bit of a hike from the door to the cancer center part where Elena was today.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am." Eddie pulled Marisol in and kept his arm wrapped around her.
Chris was long gone, knowing where to go on his own. There were a few other kids there that he stopped and talked to, so Eddie was pretty sure he and Marisol would get there first. It was the way it usually happened.
The sound of laughter had Eddie smiling. He knew that Buck liked keeping her spirits high, but the laughter was still nice to hear.
"No, go fish!" Elena said.
Eddie came around the wall and found that Chris was already in the game.
"At least it's not war," Christy said as she rubbed at Eddie's back as she came around him. "Now, you three, I have only a few minutes where I can help you get where you need to be. So let's get going."
Eddie frowned.
"They are allowing us the breakroom since the other room we usually use for this is full of something work-related. No one really uses it, so they are okay with the few who sometimes do going elsewhere."
"I'm going to stay hooked up to my machines," Elena said.
"Then let's get this going," Eddie said. He grabbed the pillows that were stacked up beside the chair, probably for Elena while she was in the breakroom. The smile Christy gave him told Eddie he was right. He wasn't sure what else needed to go, but he figured that Marisol and Buck could get the rest. Eddie followed the path that Christy started to head toward.
The breakroom was big enough for their little party. Eddie got the chair set up for Elena before she got into the room.
By the time Natalia got there, everyone else was set up in the room. Eddie helped her get everything set up for the food while Elena and Marisol talked.
"She looks like she was accepted well." Natalia sounded happy.
Eddie looked at Marisol, who was smiling as she colored in a bit of leaf on the page she and Elena were both coloring.
"She does look like she was accepted, which is good, as I don't think we can have too many people in Elena's life." Eddie handed over the last of the drinks for the other end of the table. "There is a lot of family coming out of the woodwork for them. Even if some are distancing themselves from the. Do you think that Maddie and Chim will come around?"
"No, I don't think so. As much as Maddie's gotten herself better when it comes to the death of Daniel, I don't think that she's actually fully accepted what had happened to her and Buck growing up and how she had to bury her feelings about Daniel's death back then."
Eddie agreed with Natalia.
---
Natalia listened as Buck put Elena to bed with Chris there with him. It was the normal routine for them now when Chris was staying the night.
"Buck, is Chris my brother now?"
"If you want him to be, and he wants to be your brother, I don't see why not. Do you want him to be?"
"Yes."
Natalia looked down the hall just as Eddie was crossing it. She waved him toward her with a finger at her lips. It was too cute to not listen to it.
Eddie cocked an eyebrow, but he walked to where she was.
"And Chris, do you want her to be your sister?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then I now pronounce you heart siblings."
Eddie leaned into Natalia a little bit and held on tight.
Buck's life was a weird one, but Natalia always knew that she needed someone that would be willing to accept her weirdness. Natalia loved her job, and she was going to stick with it for as long as possible.
"You okay with that?" Natalia asked, her voice a whisper.
"Yes. Buck and I figured this was coming. Chris was asking about heart siblings, and Elena asked me. Buck's going to end up adopting her, and Chris already looks at Buck as a second father. It was bound to happen. So we just figured we would accept it for was. I'm not going to tell my kid he can't have an adopted sister like that. Buck's not quite my brother, but being best friends kind of feels like it's just the same as siblings."
Buck and Chris came out of the room with Chris rolling his eyes at the way Natalia and Eddie were standing.
"I'm going to bed to read. Go be weird."
Natalia laughed and let Eddie draw her into the living room. Marisol was still tucked into the corner of the couch where Natalia had left her to check on Buck when he had taken too long putting Elena to bed. Eddie had been getting the guest room set up for him and Marisol to sleep in once they were all drunk enough to sleep.
The bottles of wine were scattered on the coffee table, sitting in buckets of ice. Natalia started to top off the glasses while Marisol already had her glass topped off.
Buck took his glass from Natalia's hand before she held up Eddie's to him as well. She did her last, finishing off the bottle she and Buck had been sharing the last few glasses of.
"Is this movie almost over?" Buck asked as he relaxed back on the couch.
"No, we are about halfway through."
"Well, if I pass out, just tip me over and let me sleep here."
"I don't mind. Big old bed all to myself." Natalia leaned on him and waited for Buck to wrap his arm around her. It was good to feel wrapped up in his arms.
Eddie leaned into Buck, and then Marisol leaned into him.
This was one of the strangest little families she had ever met in her life, but she loved all of them. She was lucky that Marisol had kind of accepted how everything was with Buck and Eddie because there were a lot of people who wouldn't understand anything like what was going on. This was the kind of family that Natalia had always wanted, and she was glad to find it, even if it came with more fireworks than most families had that weren't drama magnets.
There were looks from people when they were out and about, and Eddie and Buck were too affectionate with each other. It was interesting to see how people reacted. Despite her job, Natalia liked to study people a little bit. The psychology classes she had put herself through to help clients and their family with their end-of-life affairs. It was enough for Natlaia to realize that people would always look at them weirdly, but she was also okay with that. She just wanted to be happy and in love, and it seemed like that might be Buck and the family he made for himself.
---
Buck heard the rustle of sheets and then felt the little body as it crawled up into bed with him. He gripped Elena tight when she lay on his chest. Natalia made a noise but didn't wake up.
"Can't sleep?"
"Yes, but wanted to be with you."
"Ah, weird dreams. You know you are always welcome in here unless the door is locked."
That made Elena giggle a little. The door opened even more, and there was a huff from Eddie.
"I guess it's sleepover time. Marisol kicked me out of bed when Chris wouldn't stop wiggling."
"Weird dreams all around?"
"NO, he just didn't like being alone in bed. I thought we could shove him into bed with Elena, but she wasn't there."
"Why don't we just all sleep on the floor in the living room? I'll work on getting the two mattresses we bought for that out." Natalia slipped out of bed with a kiss on Buck's cheek. "And get Marisol. We can shove the kids in the middle, and we will take the outside of the bed."
"Yeah," Elena said.
"Okay, that works. Up." Buck bounced on the bed a little making Elena giggle more.
"Vamos, Chris," Eddie said.
"How is this our life?" Buck asked as Chris flipped the light on as he left the room.
"I am not sure if we did good or bad."
Elena wiggled off Buck before she ran out of the room. The nightmares were normal for the two kids in the wake of one of the kids in chemo having a reaction to their medication and nearly dying. Still, Buck hadn't expected this. It was why everyone was here in the same house, just to be safe. He should have thought of the whole thing about sleeping all in the same space with the kids.
"You aren't perfect; we are working on getting you there, though. Father of the year."
Buck let Eddie pull him up off the bed. It felt good to be wanted, even if Eddie only wanted him as a co-parent and best friend. It was more than Buck had ever felt like anyone wanted him before. So they were going to work on themselves and make sure that Elena had a good life, even if it would end soon. The scans looked promising, and she could hopefully start her next round of what the doctor had in store for her. They just had to get through this. It felt like it was getting through the dark forest to find the open sky.
"Come on before they talk the ladies into watching a movie."
The sound of the opening to a Disney movie sounded as soon as Buck got into the hallway. "Too late."
"Eh, they won't last long, but the earworms will last for days."
"How do you know?"
"You think they aren't going to want to watch Frozen?"
Buck groaned, and he looked a the screen as they came into the living room to see the TV paused on the opening of Frozen.
Eddie gave Buck the biggest "I told you so" look in the world, so Buck just rolled his eyes. He shoved Eddie toward where Natalia had gotten the first mattress out of the closet they had been shoved. Getting the room set up took no time, and when he looked over, his little family gathered on the beds like there was nothing wrong in the world, making Buck feel like maybe, for the first time, he would be happy.
The people he loved were all that he needed to make his world feel like it was right. Maybe Elena was the kick in the butt he needed to make sure his family was who loved him for who he was, not who they thought he was.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Child with Leukemia (Not Daniel or Chris)
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Natalia Dollenmeyer, Background Pairings
Tags: Post Season 6, Canon Divergence, Angst, Ambiguous but Hopeful Ending
Summary: There was never another choice for Buck when it came to this path.
Word Count: 10,250
Author Notes: At work, there is a quote on the wall outside the cancer center "The bridge we don't see becomes visible once we allow courage and determination guide us to it." It doesn't list who said it, and I cannot find anything online. Also, F--- CANCER!
Beta: Grammarly
Buck stopped as the little girl just kept on crying. He looked around for the people who were with her. There were a lot of parents at the park, and now that the two kids had been injured in the fight between the adults. It was strange to have someone not run up to the girl. She was sitting by herself, and there was no one even looking at her at all. There were a lot of things that started to go through Buck's head as he looked at the girl.
"Bobby?" Buck asked.
"Yes?"
Buck pointed at the girl and the fact that no one was coming to her.
"Oh. Yeah. 'Thena?" Bobby called out.
Athena turned from where she was talking to a few bystanders, and she frowned before waving the bystanders to talk to other officers. She came over to the little girl and tried to talk to her.
"We gotta go," Bobby said.
"I know. I know." Buck kept his eyes on the little girl even as Athena stood up with her. It wasn't long before they were fully out of sight. He was getting ready to get into the truck when Athena came toward them.
"Bobby!"
Buck looked back, smiling at the little girl who wasn't crying anymore.
"We need a ride to the hospital."
The girl reached out for Buck, and he took her. She giggled as she latched onto him.
"How about you follow in your car, and we will make sure she's fine."
---
Buck danced a little as he made his way toward his phone. It was ringing on the kitchen counter. He paused when he saw the number. It wasn't one that was on his contact list, but it was local, and then the phone changed to tell him that it was official like.
"Hello?" Buck asked.
"Evan Buckley?"
"Yes, this is him."
"Hello, my name is Maria, and I am a social worker. This is a bit irregular, but...I'm at my wit's end, trying to place a little girl in my system. She was given the name of Elena Doe after she was found in the park by you and an officer named Athena Grant three years ago. I've noticed that you are a foster parent in the system."
"Yes, I did that about a year ago."
"Look, I'll be honest; I'm doing this to save a life. The money is not an issue; the medical care is not an issue. Her diagnosis is not an issue. It's...she doesn't care. She's not fighting for herself in the care."
"I'm going to put you on speaker, Maria. I'm here alone, but I'm better when my hands can move around. So, tell me about this wonderful little girl." Buck transferred the phone to where he could mess around the kitchen and listen to Maria.
"I don't want to be accused of tricking you. She has juvenile leukemia."
Buck nearly dropped the pan he was pulling out to work on his lunch.
"She's not fought a single thing, but her last three families thought they could deal with the whole situation. They could not. I think Elena's given up on life because no one wants her."
"Are you wanting me to take her?"
"Yes, I am. The notes from the ER when she was taken in by you, and Sergeant Grant list that she responded to you well, and you went to see her a few times until the caseworker at the time told you that you needed to back off because she wasn't connecting with anyone. If I had been her caseworker at the time, I would have asked you to get everything you needed to take care of her."
"Adoption?"
"She was changed from unadoptable to adoptable due to the length of them and the fact that the family was never found about six months ago when she started the treatment for her leukemia."
Buck knew that he was going to take her. He did not have a place that was good enough for her. He could see about getting the living room turned into a room while he found a place for them to live that would pass what was going to be needed for him to take her.
"There is just one big issue. I have a loft apartment. It's got a single room up a set of stairs. I could have the living room turned into a bedroom for her with various screens to make sure it's enclosed of sorts until I can find a place to live."
"Well, there is always that kind of concession in cases of cancer patients and other ill children. It's not like a lot of houses have rooms on the first floor that can be turned into bedrooms. And the stairs are always a big issue with them. That's not going to be an issue for me at all as long as she's got a bed and a place she can go where it's quiet."
"I have a TV in my bedroom, so that's not going to be an issue. Everyone is going to call me crazy and stupid for this, but...and I know that you cannot know this and weren't using it as a manipulation tactic, but I was a savior sibling, Maria. I was one when my brother died after the bone marrow transplant didn't take."
"She's not at that part yet, but it might be needed. I'm sorry about your brother, and you are correct that I would never have done this as a manipulation tactic. I'm just worried about her."
"Where is she right now? When can I see her? When can I take her?"
"Well, she's at the facility right now, and today is paperwork and getting your place set up. I'll be there at six tomorrow morning to look it over, and then we can go over everything. This is going to be an emergency placement, and the judge will even be coming to your place. When do you work?"
"Well, today is the first of four I have off."
"Great. Tomorrow she has an all-day treatment, so you can come with me after all of that with things to keep yourself entertained but be with her all day. She sleeps for most of it, but that could be just not caring anymore."
"And if she doesn't respond like you want?"
"I will still know I have tried everything I can to help her live."
Buck grabbed a notepad and started to write everything down. He would get lunch while out, and he would get a hold of Conner and see if the man could help him with everything. Out of everyone in his life, Conner wouldn't look at him like he was wrong for doing this.
"I have a girlfriend. Natalia Dollenmeyer works as a death doula. I'm sure that you want to look into her a little bit or something. I've already started a list of things I need to do, and I know someone who can help me find a place with four bedrooms."
"Four bedrooms?"
"My best friend, Eddie Diaz, I work with him. He's got a son, and he stays over a lot. Before this, Eddie and I shared a bed in the loft while Chris slept on the couch. He likes my couch better than his own. At least until I had to get rid of it."
"Get rid of it?"
"My other friend's wife went into labor and gave birth on the couch."
"Buck, can I say that your life is a lot? But I think that it's the kind of life that proves to me that you are a good man. You do what you need, and I'll do what I need. Then if things go well, maybe in about six months, we can discuss adoption."
"Okay. Thank you for thinking of me. I'll be everything that she needs."
"I have no doubt."
---
"Buck?" Natalia called out as she stepped inside the apartment. She looked around to find her boyfriend. She heard the sound of something heavy being set down and followed the noise.
The last time she had come into the place, when the door was propped open, Kameron had been in the middle of giving birth.
This time Conner was standing to the side, dusting off his hands as he looked at the bed that was now where the couch had been. The couch was off to the side, looking like they were trying to figure out what to do with it.
"Is Chris staying over for a while?"
Conner just laughed.
"Shut up, Con. Natalia, I'm glad you could come over today...I know that you and I are dating-"
"I'm going to head out and get the rest of the stuff out of the truck and into the service elevator, Buck. You handle this. I'll be fine alone." Conner clasped Buck on the shoulder before he made his way around him. "Go easy on him."
Natalia was even more confused than she had been when she walked inside. There had been so much about this that was just confusing.
"I am taking in a foster kid. I found her in the park three years ago. She was abandoned in the park, and while there was a search made into who she is along with how she was left there like that, she didn't have a name other than Mommy for her mother, and she had no clue where they lived or anything. She was about three years old. She's going through treatment for leukemia, and the case worker thinks she's given up. I was close to her, but the former caseworker felt like I was hurting her, so I backed off."
"And you are getting her a room set up to have her live here."
"Yes."
"Okay, okay. Wow. There is never a dull moment in the life of Evan Buckley. What do you need me to do?"
"Linens. I went to the furniture store with Conner and got the bed frame. I have been told her favorite colors are purple and red. My tablet has the file that Maria sent me. Tomorrow I'll be signing the paperwork and spending the day at the hospital with her as she gets her treatment. You don't need to be there for that, in part or in whole. I will be busy all day with her, and then we will be coming back here. I am not sure what she's going to feel like on food for the day."
"I have some recipes if you get me allergies and dislikes, I can get that set up for dinner."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, it should be just you two there at the hospital, well, and whatever person go with her to make sure you aren't going to hurt or she's not going to freak out about a stranger. She's a kid, she might remember you, and she might not."
Buck nodded. He waved at the bed and the furniture that was all around it.
Natalia nodded her head. She pulled out her phone and took a few pictures. She needed to know what each piece was like to know if what she wanted would fit.
"She's become attached to hummingbirds; I was told when Maria called back to change the time that a judge is coming here in the morning to deal with the pavement."
"How are you getting around the bedroom thing?"
"Her prognosis. The stairs. Maria said that not all houses have rooms capable of housing a bed and stuff in it, and in cases of illness like this, there is a way to make sure that things are done in the living room or even a dining room.
"That's good. I'm glad. Are you looking for a bigger place?"
"four bedrooms so that she has her room, Chris has his, and Eddie or anyone else has a bed they can stay in. I bought this place outright, and there is a rental place looking to buy up the places in the building that they can for businesses all around here. They have approached me before. So I'll probably go with them since it would be an easy sell."
"I'll get everything she needs. Limit?"
"Not really. I don't really care. Did you want cash or a card?"
"You'd trust me with a card?" Natalia wasn't shocked, but at the same time, she was. It was Buck to a T, and one of the reasons she was attracted to him. He saw the happiness in life, and she had trouble with it at times in her job. Especially when she was brought in on a life that was ending too soon.
Natalia knew that Buck understood that he could be getting attached just to lose the child. That she might not live. He knew that from his own brush with it, even if he was too young to know it and forgot and then had been lied to his whole life. There was so much to unpack in all of that, but Buck would give his all to the little girl until she was gone or she lived.
She didn't have to wonder why the caseworker had wanted to place the girl with Buck. The man had too much heart for this world sometimes.
---
"And then Buck gave me flowers. I kept them until they faded, but my foster mom at the time pressed one and kept it pretty before putting it as a bookmark."
Buck watched Elena as she showed off the bookmark pressed between plastic.
"And why did Buck leave you?" the nurse asked as she drew blood from the girl's arm.
"He had to. I asked my caseworker once, and she blew me off, but I think she made him go away. He's a firefighter."
Elena's nurse seemed to realize that someone was there, and she turned to look as she pulled the butterfly needle from her arm. She frowned at him for a second before Elena caught on what drew her attention.
"BUCK!" Elena screamed in a very much not inside voice.
"He's real?" the nurse asked.
"Of course he is! I don't tell lies."
"I'm sorry I didn't think you were lying so much as I thought he was an imaginary friend."
"No, he and Sergeant Grant saved me from the park when my mother left me there." Elena was bouncing in her seat, and Buck was glad she didn't have a needle in her anymore.
"Well, we will check your blood here and let you catch up with Buck," the nurse said.
When she passed, Buck saw her name was Christy.
"How are you doing this morning, Elena?"
"Why are you here?" Elena looked at the woman sitting with her.
"My name is Julie, Mister Buckley. I've not told her anything. I thought that maybe you would like to do that. I'll pull the curtain and go and get us our normal drinks; how does that sound?"
"What do you get?" Buck asked.
"A smoothie. They have a few really good ones here."
"Get me one, please." Buck handed over two twenties. "I have snacks and stuff for us; Maria sent over a list of things she likes. She didn't have anything listed for you, so get yourself a few things as well."
"Of course. Elena, I'll be right back."
Buck sat down where Julie had been, and he looked at Elena, who was so excited looking.
"I'm glad you came back."
"I would have been here from the first moment you had a diagnosis, but I was unable to. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Now, as to what Julie talked about. Maria called me yesterday. I talked with a judge this morning and got my loft set up for you yesterday as well. My girlfriend, Natalia, helped me pick out girly enough things for you. If there is anything you don't like, we can change that."
"I'll go home with you today?"
Yes. Everything is set up and ready for you. Maria will come by in a few days. Once she's done here, Julie will head to where you have been staying and take our things to my place."
"Will Natalia like me?"
"Yes. I also have a godson of sorts, Chris, who is going to love you. Then there is my adult best friend, Eddie. He is Chris' dad. He's going to let you wrap him around your little finger."
Elena giggled and nodded before she tucked her legs up onto the chair she was in. There were a lot of other kids around. More than Buck wanted to think about. He also knew that some of these kids were in there for things other than cancer. It was never good that they were there, but at least he didn't have to think about the kids dying.
"What about everyone else?"
"Not sure. So once you are settled in, we have our drinks, and Julie comes back, we can talk a little more about a few things, but the first thing I want to say is that I am doing this for you. There is no other reason. I lonely stopped seeing you because I was told that if I didn't, I would get in trouble with the law."
"I didn't like the lady who was my caseworker before. I like the new lady. She likes me a lot and cares. She is the one that found Julie for me as a caretaker since I need a little more help than normal."
"I bet. Which has me wanting to ask you something else. The state pays for her while you're in the care of them, and they will continue until such a time that I adopt you and my insurance covers you fully. But Chris has a home health aide. She is someone who can take care of you, and I love her to bits. Do you want to meet her? Chris won't need someone watching him during the day for much longer and would maybe need her at night when Eddie and I are working. There are also a lot of family members who can watch him at night.
"Is she nice?"
"She's the nicest. Carla is wonderful. If you want, I can make sure that she is there when you meet Eddie and Chris tomorrow unless there's going to be too many people."
"no. It's good. I want to meet her. I like Julie, and she's really nice, but she has a lot of patients already, and I know she gives me more attention because of my sickness. Would they come to us?"
"Yes, Carla would come to you and Chris as well. If we did that. Since you are the sicker of the two, and it's nice to have your things around, if you don't like Carla, we will keep Julie or see if Carla knows someone you might like better. You never, ever have to tolerate someone you don't like."
Elena nodded. She hugged her legs a little tighter. She was smiling despite looking tired.
"Bethy," Elena said.
Buck looked to the side to see another nurse standing there.
"So I heard that your Buck finally made his way here. I'm happy to see him."
"Buck, this is Bethy; she's my doctor."
"I'm going to steal Buck for a few minutes while Christy gets you set up for the fluids that you are going to be getting today. I'll return him when I'm done. I just have some paperwork that needs to be filled out so we can get a hold of him and things he needs to look for when he takes you home tonight."
"Maria called you?"
"She did. I'm glad that someone is taking an interest. It warms my heart."
"I'll be back," Buck said. He leaned over and kissed Elena's forehead. She wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could before finally letting him go.
Buck wasn't looking forward to what was coming but needed to know.
---
Natalia wasn't shocked that Buck was worn out by the time he got home. She also wasn't shocked that he was carrying Elena inside. She was asleep on his chest, wrapped around him like a monkey.
"How about I go and get the rest of the stuff from the Jeep?" She held out her hand, and Buck gladly dropped the keys in there.
The bags in the Jeep were not a lot; just the bag that Buck had packed for him for the day as well as Elena's, were the things she might need while at treatment. The nearly all-day treatment had been tiring as even Buck stopped texting her halfway through.
The bedroom for Elena was set up, and the living room area was a little more crowded. The couch that Natalia had picked out with Buck looked way too big now, but it was only temporary.
Once Natalia had finished what work she needed to do for the day, she worked on listings in the area that wasn't too far from Eddie's, Durand School, and the 118. There were a few pages of printouts she had done. Buck at least had a place to start as well as make a few notes of what he wanted and didn't want on each one when he went to look at them with inside looks.
When Natalia got back inside, she heard Buck talking to Elena. She looked toward the living room to see they were on the couch, with Buck holding Elena in his lap and rubbing her back. He looked up at her with a grim smile on his face.
A chime from Buck's phone had her looking at it. She picked it up to take it to him, but he shook his head and mimed for her to open it.
Natalia only had his code from when she had been there for the birth of the baby.
Natalia typed in what she thought it was, but it buzzed her. She looked at Buck to see him holding up the first number. Natalia nodded, and she typed that in. The message was from Eddie.
"Oh, Eddie and Chris came over for dinner. They are bored."
"Hey, Elana, want to meet Eddie and Chris today, and then you can meet Carla tomorrow."
"Can Chris have a sleepover?"
"Sure. I'll...figure something out about that."
"I can leave so Eddie can sleep in your bed.
"Nah, I can sleep in the middle with you two boxing me in, so you aren't sleeping beside him if you don't want to. The new big bed of mine will fit all three of us. It was the last time Chris had a nightmare, and he wanted to be between us. Text back to bring stuff for a sleepover as Eddie took most of their stuff home last time since the season has been changing to hotter."
"Will do." Natalia dropped into a seat at the island had she looked at them. Elena was asleep again.
Eddie: Who is this?
Buck: It's Natalia. Buck's indisposed, but I talked to him. How did you know?
The phone rang instead of a text. Natalia answered it.
"Buck doesn't sound like that, and I honestly have no answer other than that. Is everything okay?"
"Buck is just fine, but what he's got going is something for him to tell you in person, not over the phone. I promise. I have dinner, and please, don't bring anything food-related over beyond ice cream or popsicles."
"This is not helping me with thinking that everything is okay. Nor that we should come over."
"I promise you that Buck is not sick; I'm not sick. It's just...please. Buck wants you here. Please."
"Chris is already ready. I just need to head out, and we will be there soon. Should I come up and let us in?"
"Yes. Are you hungry?"
"We are."
"Then I'll get dinner started. Now, I know that you like heat, but Chris?"
"About half of what I like."
"Okay. I can do that. Now, get here soon. Be prepared to spend the night. Buck's already worked on plans for that, and just remember that Buck thinks things through."
"I know he does; why would you even think to say something like that?"
"Because I've heard a few comments from the people at the station, and while you are his best friend, that doesn't mean that you are exempt from saying something mean to him."
"I guess that's why he commented that you see him better than anyone else."
"It won't be true much longer. I'll see him like you guys do, through the eyes of the past without growth."
Eddie made a noise, and Natalia wasn't sure it was a good sound.
"Be there soon." Eddie hung up before Natalia could say anything else.
Buck was sleeping when Natalia checked on him and Elena. Natalia could see they were both tired, so she left them like they were. She got the food started to be warmed up again. The chicken would be good, and she had made sure to make some bland for Elena. The meal was well thought out, she hoped, based on what she knew of the patients she helped with for their end of life with cancer. She was well prepared for all of this.
There was going to be no protecting Buck's heart. She knew from the moment she had found him the night before that he was too gone already. It was the biggest part of his job that she knew he would never be able to do. Letting go of the people like that. She worked through her own stages of grief with each of her people whom she helped find their own end in their own way.
Eddie and Chris arrived much faster than Natalia thought they would. Buck and Elena were still asleep on the couch.
"Ay Dios, is that the girl from the park?" Eddie asked as he looked at Elena.
"I think that is where Buck said he met her three years ago."
"Is she sick?" Chris asked.
"Hey, Chris!" Buck called out softly. He turned his head to where he was looking at Chris. "Come over here and meet Elena."
Chris made his way over slowly, and Eddie followed behind. Natalia stayed back to let Chris and Eddie get closer.
Eddie looked back at Natalia before he looked at Buck and the kid. He remembered well the day they had responded to the park, and Buck had ended up finding a kid who had been left in the park. Eddie thought about her from time to time but hadn't ever reached out more. He didn't have any idea what the hell was going on.
Chris got closer and got up on the couch with Buck and Elena. Eddie's gaze went around the whole living room, which had a few screens blocking stuff from being visible. He figured that it was set up like a bedroom.
"Hi," Elena said.
"Hi, my name is Chris."
"Elena. Buck was telling me you like to play the Switch. Can I...can I watch you play?"
"Sure."
"Where do you want to lay down?"
"Here is fine. Can Chris play from here?"
"Sure." Buck pressed a kiss to the girl's head, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds.
Eddie knew the girl was sick but wasn't sure what was wrong with her. There was a bag beside the girl. Eddie grabbed it so that Buck could get her laid down.
"She might fall asleep, so don't worry if she does. She's just tired from her treatment today."
Treatment. Eddie swallowed. He knew that it was used for a variety of things, but in day-to-day life, it was cancer for most people for context. Eddie wanted to ask what Buck thought he was doing, but he stopped himself. Natalia's words sunk in. She saw him for who he was now, not with a shadow of who he used to be holding them back.
"Dinner's about twenty minutes out," Natalia said.
Eddie looked at the woman who Eddie wasn't sure was good enough for Buck, but today he thought maybe she was the kind of person he needed.
"Let's go talk," Buck said.
"Yes, let's." Eddie followed him to the kitchen, where he got settled at the bar while Buck worked on making tea.
"Her newest caseworker called me, and I...I couldn't say no, and I didn't want to. She was fighting for herself. She had been through too many homes while in treatment so far. She was afraid that Elena was going to give up on life and not make it because she had no one to fight for."
"Which is why she contacted you, but how did she know?"
"I used to go and see her until the old caseworker threatened me with legal action to get me to stop. I still don't know what she thought I was doing. I didn't want to hurt her. I was just...attached. She perked up a lot today since I was there with her for her long day of treatment."
"You are fostering her?"
"With the aim of adoption six months down the road, yes."
"Buck," Eddie said. He could feel his heart breaking for him. "You-"
Buck shook his head. "I thought this through, Eddie. I spent several hours thinking about it. There was no point where I was going to say no. Even if this is just to make her happy in the time she has left."
"What is it?" Eddie asked.n"Same thing as Daniel. Which I was a little shocked about. She's doing good, and I've already done what's needed to test to see if I'm a match for her or not. I'll know when I know. I can't just leave her."
"No, you couldn't. I never knew you went to see her."
Buck shrugged his shoulders as he worked on getting the plates set up for their dinner. He grabbed some napkins and started to get the utensils ready.
"Natalia, where did you move the TV trays?"
"They are behind the TV stand. Two on each side. I put the stand in storage downstairs in the storage locker."
"Okay. Oh, that reminds me, Eddie; what do you think about this house?" Buck slid a sheet of paper over to Eddie.
Eddie took the sheet. It was one that was literally next door to him. The older lady there was mean as hell, but she took care of her place. Eddie wasn't even aware she was selling the place. The paperwork there showed that she was.
"I've been inside of there once before helping her with shutting off a pipe that was leaking until her grandson could get there to take care of it. There is no for sale sign out front."
"Yeah, I double-checked this last night. It's in my price range."
"Price...you are moving."
"I can't stay here. While they are allowing it with the bedroom she has right now because of her illness, a place where she can have a true bedroom would be better. Natalia found a few places, and this one was one I knew before I even read the address. Of course, I wasn't even aware it was for sale."
"It's a good house. She takes care of it, and her husband did as well. It's going to go fast, but she likes me, and she loves you."
Buck laughed, and he nodded his head. Eddie knew that Buck had helped her with a few things, but she never got any nicer. Still, she liked Buck.
"I can put in a call and make sure that the realtor knows who I am and talks to her about it. I mean, she hates you, but she likes Chris enough not to yell at him as much as she did other kids."
Eddie looked back to where Elena was asleep again. Buck was in over his head, but there was no getting him out of it. Buck had already given his heart over to that little girl.
"I'll call about it. I'll call Mrs. Cochran myself, and we can talk about it and make sure that she understands who it would be through that the offer would come." Eddie knew that Mrs. Cochran knew Buck would take care of the house. The death of her husband had been the thing that had shifted her from what Eddie had been told.
"Not going to yell at me?" Buck asked.
"No, I'm not. You have made your decision, and I think it's an honorable one. What about when you are at work?"
"She has an aide that the state pays to be with her. I was going to see about setting something up tomorrow where you could bring Carla with you when you came over, but then you and Chris were bored tonight. I'll get a hold of her and have her come over...she's lonely, and that's the crux of it. She's been alone for this. Julie helps her a lot and really everyone around her, but it's different than if a person who is supposed to be your parent is right there with you. I know how it feels."
Eddie knew that at the base of it, that was the thing. "Did you know before?"
"That it was like Daniel? I knew she was sick, but as soon as she called and I realized that she wanted me to take Elena, I knew I was going to do it. Then it was like him."
Natalia came up behind Buck and wrapped her arms around him, holding on.
"So you told us to bring stuff for sleeping over."
"Chris can sleep on the couch. We can all share a bed with me in the middle; it's big enough. After Taylor left, taking the bed as well since she hated my old one, I knew I should just get a bigger one. You probably didn't even notice at all."
Eddie laughed a little, and he thought about how he hadn't noticed at all. "I'll handle Carla. Don't worry about that. She gets paid to take care of Chris, so it's not going to be a deal to have her with Elena as well. Chris is needing less and less, and outside of his surgery next year, she'll be doing less. So, it would be easy to transition her from him to Elena for the most part."
"That's what I was thinking, then Carla still can be around if Chris needs her, but he won't feel like he's being watched by her as much."
Eddie looked at Elena again to see her laughing a little as Chris drove off the side of the track. He had already lost his heart and hadn't even really talked to the girl. "Okay, so damage control. Your sister and Chim are not going to be happy about this. Bobby's going to act like he didn't think this through. Athena's going to be heartbroken that Elena is going through this after being abandoned."
"I..." Buck bit his lip, and he laughed a little. "I was worried about their reactions, but honestly, if they don't accept me for who I am and what I do, then I don't want them in my life. I love Bobby like a father like he was the father I wish that I had had, but I agree that doesn't always mean that I need to keep him in my life with the same boundaries."
"No, there needs to be a good boundary. One that you keep on this. Bobby will have to take that into everything. He will give you the time you need."
"I can mostly schedule her treatments around my work schedule. We've already talked about that. Her doctor and I got everything set up. We worked around it, and sometimes I might need to not be where when she gets set up like today, but I can be there for most of it. I won't be taking any extra shifts."
"She looks happier now than she was before I got to her. I watched her for a few minutes, but she was so lonely looking. She knew me. Told stories about me, but the majority of them there thought that I was an imaginary friend. It was good to show them she didn't just make me up. I get why they thought that. Still, this is what I have going. This is going to be my life. Are you in or out?"
"I'm in. I told you before that I have your back, and while things were a little wrong before we cleared the air between us, I know we are good now. I will always have your back."
---
Buck sat down at the table and looked at where Maddie and Chim were. The next shift was already there, and while Buck would rather do this anywhere but here, he had been given no choice when Chim called Maddie to tell her he had done something stupid. Buck hadn't told anyone what he had done, not beyond Bobby. He knew that Bobby hadn't told anyone else, so he wasn't sure what Chim thought he was revealing with all of this.
Eddie had left when he realized that Buck would be stuck there. He had gone home to settle in what Elena and Chris had for the day and give Carla some time off.
Elena had wrapped Carla around her finger, and Carla was more than willing to add her to what she did. It was summer, so neither of the kids had school; Elena was doing online anyway with how sick she was, even between her treatments. So, things were settled, and in the morning, Carla would pick up Elena from Buck's place and then head to Eddie's. Chris was left alone for only a short time because Eddie left for work before Carla got there.
"What is this?" Bobby asked as he sat down beside Buck at the table.
"I am not sure. Maddie showed up and said she needed to talk to me about something stupid I had done. I am not sure what stupid thing I have done."
"Chim texted me yesterday that he knew you had done something as you spent time in the office with Bobby, then I got a call this morning from a friend of mine who said that she finally figured out where she knew the person who had taken in a foster kid with cancer from, but she did this morning when she saw my post on Facebook. She was visiting her aunt who was having treatment, so she didn't break any laws."
"Just the ones of decency," Athena said.
Buck looked back to see her stepping up with her hands on her hips as she looked at Maddie.
"He adopted a kid with cancer!" Maddie nearly yelled.
"And?" Bobby asked.
"He's going to ruin his life. Look at what losing a kid to cancer did to our family. He'll ruin his entire life, and it looks like no one cares."
"Oh no, I care." Bobby looked at Maddie with disapproval all over his face. "But I'm going to support him and make sure if that day comes, he gets help and doesn't do that. He's already better than your family because he works on himself. He's got Natalia to help him deal if it comes to that. He's got Eddie and Chris to make sure he doesn't fully drown in grief, and I assumed he would have you supporting him no matter what."
"I can't get close to her. I can't. I can't lose anyone like that again."
"That's your choice, Maddie," Buck said. He wasn't sure that it would stick for long before Maddie made his boundary, something that made her life wrong. She had done it before when it was about Daniel and giving him space at work. When it was what she wanted, there was a lot of pushing what she wanted but not what Buck wanted.
"You would give up your niece?" Chim asked.
"I've gotten to know her pretty well, Chim, but before this...I hadn't really seen her or had any interaction with her for the first year of her life. There is not a lot of bond between us there. I love her, but if this is a line in the sand, yes, I'm going to put Elena, a girl who was not even fighting for her own life. I love Jee-Yun, but I won't let my love for her be used as a reason why I need to do something I know is wrong."
Chim flinched. It was still something that had never been talked about between them. Buck didn't really care to. Chim made his bed, and he proved everything with it. He was more than willing to be kind to him at work and deal with things in private as he needed, but even just having Elena for a short time showed him that he needed to change his life some.
Natalia had helped him talk a few things out, and she had been a good ear to listen to him about everything that had gone on in his life to help him if he started to backslide. She had also pressed him to talk to Doctor Copeland more about everything. That had been a long conversation, and for once, Doctor Copeland hadn't looked at him like she was disappointed in a choice he had made.
"This is not going how I thought it would," Chim said.
"Why?" Buck asked.
"I assumed you would have a story about you helping someone. I didn't think you would take on a kid who was sick at all."
"I saw her a lot after Athena, and I helped her calm down from the park."
"That girl who had been abandoned?"
Buck nodded his head.
"You did get attached to her. I just...I can't understand what you have done. I don't get it, but I respect it. I will work out something where you can see Jee-Yun."
"No," Maddie said.
"Maddie," Chim said.
"No, I will not have Jee getting attached to the sick kid. No. Forget it." Maddie got up and left.
Chim gave Buck a sorry look before he followed her.
Buck had wondered for a while if they were even going to stay in LA. It seemed like they were both pulling away from everyone around them since the whole engagement thing had happened.
"Where is Eddie?" Bobby asked.
"He went to make sure that Elena didn't freak out about me not getting home quickly. We've been working on that one, but it's only been days. I was late the other day, and Natalia had to deal with a minor meltdown."
"How are you doing, baby?" Athena asked.
"Good. I'm adjusting. Eddie's working on his neighbor to get her to sell her place to me. I have a company interested in my loft to rent to visiting people or short-term rentals for various things. It's been months since they talked to me."
"Can I see her?" Athena asked.
"She said she wanted to see you soon, so if you want to stop by later, you can. What are you doing here?"
"Bobby wanted backup to deal with those two once he realized Maddie was here to ambush you. I was coming here to get him anyway. He took his car in for a few small things that needed to be fixed up yesterday. We can pick it up at any time. Do you want us to get breakfast and then head over to your place?"
"Eddie's place. I pick her up from there, and since it's easier and better spaced, it's the best place for her during the day. Carla picks her up from me and takes her over there. Eddie usually leaves Chris alone for about five minutes. If I end up taking the house beside Eddie's, then things will be different on that front, and Carla would move the kids between the house as they want."
"Sounds like you have this all planned out. You aren't taking Eddie's neighbor's house 'cause it's his neighbor, are you?"
"No, no. It's already set up for his older neighbor, with a lot of disability aides scattered around the house. It's kind of perfect for Chris and for Elena as she does get very tired very quickly. She takes good care of the place, and her husband did before her. She's moving into a place that is a lot closer to one of her kids, a few cities away. She likes me as much as she likes anyone. I'm just hoping she goes for that over the biggest offer on the place."
"Well, text us what you want for breakfast; we will head and get Bobby's vehicle and then go home to let him get changed out of the clothes he wore in yesterday and into something a little more kid-friendly. We will head over to your place after that with breakfast."
"Okay, I'll prep Eddie and the kids for you guys coming over. Elena's going to be excited, and Chris so far hasn't had an issue with sharing, but we are looking forward to that at some point."
"Get out of here," Bobby said with a smile on his face.
---
Eddie picked up his light jacket before looking at Chris, where the boy was still working on whatever he was doing. It was top secret which meant that Eddie wasn't supposed to even be looking at them.
It wasn't cold outside, but Buck had already texted him that it was cold in the pod that they were in that day since it was warmer than average outside right now.
"Ready?" Eddie asked.
"Five minutes," Chris said.
"Buck and Elena rea hungry; I'm sure Natalia is as well." Eddie checked his watch and thought about the whole big meal that Natalia was picking up for all of them. He was hungry and wanted to get going so he could eat.
"Three minutes," Chris said. He was dressed and ready to go, so it was just whatever his project was that needed to be packed up.
Two minutes later, Chris shoved whatever he was working on into the case that Buck had bought him years ago for storing things. The handle was a little longer than normal and could be used with Chris' crutches. Eddie was going to be the one carrying it today, but that was okay. They finally made their way out to the truck, and Eddie looked at the house next door. He smiled as it was just about another week, and Buck thought he would have the place set up to where he and Elena could move in. Her bedroom was the biggest thing since it would have to be moved the same day they moved in and be set up with the medical stuff they had.
The loft looked like a ghost town when they went in there with just the kitchen stuff and Elena's bedroom. The new heating and cooling unit was going to be installed in four days, and then Buck wanted to clean the place well from top to bottom to get as much dust and other things that had collected out before moving Elena in. The new system had a much better filter on it than what was typically installed in a house to help with dust, as Elena's biggest allergy was dust, and it was hard to keep it out with the air on as much as they had it.
"Eddie?" Marisol asked.
Eddie looked back at her, and he smiled. "Hey, we didn't make plans did we?"
"No, I was just close to here and knew you had today off. Sorry, I'm interrupting something."
"You are not. We were heading to visit Elena for about an hour. I would love for you to come with us. She'll be happy to have someone new to talk to before she goes to sleep for the afternoon."
"Are you sure?"
Eddie nodded. Natalia always brought more food than they could eat; even the nurse who was over Elena's pod got fed. "You can follow us, or I can drive us."
"I'll go with you, and if she doesn't want me there, I can hang out in the hospital or outside somewhere until it's time to go."
Marisol hadn't met Elena yet, with Buck being a little more protective of Elena and who she met.
"DAD! We are going to be late!"
Eddie rolled his eyes. Chris was the reason they were late, to begin with. He didn't say that, as he didn't need Chris roasting him the entire way to the hospital.
"Front?" Marisol asked.
"Yes. Chris still likes the back of the truck," Eddie said.
Chris laid his box down on the seat when Eddie offered it up to him.
"I think there are plenty of things that are being served, so I hope you find something you like enough to make a meal."
"I'm sure that I will. Let's go, Eddie."
Chris laughed, so Eddie got the truck started, and he checked to make sure Chris was buckled in, and he checked Marisol as well. It was always his way of things. He just wasn't sure what kind of traffic he would expect, and even though the hospital wasn't that far, he never took chances.
"Is she doing well today?"
"She is. Buck's been texting me on and off. Usually, when he's bored. There is not a lot of summation when she's asleep, but he's working on things to do that don't wake her up."
Eddie kept on with help from Chris about a few things that Buck had texted them about today. The parking for the cancer center part of the children's hospital wasn't nearly as full as it usually was, which meant that the security was doing better at making sure that no one parked there who wasn't allowed. Eddie had a pass, just like Buck. Natalia would be parking elsewhere, even if Eddie had offered up his pass for her.
"Dad, don't forget the cards!"
Eddie grabbed the box even as Marisol helped Chris out the other side of the truck. It was the side closer to the hospital, which was good as there was a small bit of a hike from the door to the cancer center part where Elena was today.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am." Eddie pulled Marisol in and kept his arm wrapped around her.
Chris was long gone, knowing where to go on his own. There were a few other kids there that he stopped and talked to, so Eddie was pretty sure he and Marisol would get there first. It was the way it usually happened.
The sound of laughter had Eddie smiling. He knew that Buck liked keeping her spirits high, but the laughter was still nice to hear.
"No, go fish!" Elena said.
Eddie came around the wall and found that Chris was already in the game.
"At least it's not war," Christy said as she rubbed at Eddie's back as she came around him. "Now, you three, I have only a few minutes where I can help you get where you need to be. So let's get going."
Eddie frowned.
"They are allowing us the breakroom since the other room we usually use for this is full of something work-related. No one really uses it, so they are okay with the few who sometimes do going elsewhere."
"I'm going to stay hooked up to my machines," Elena said.
"Then let's get this going," Eddie said. He grabbed the pillows that were stacked up beside the chair, probably for Elena while she was in the breakroom. The smile Christy gave him told Eddie he was right. He wasn't sure what else needed to go, but he figured that Marisol and Buck could get the rest. Eddie followed the path that Christy started to head toward.
The breakroom was big enough for their little party. Eddie got the chair set up for Elena before she got into the room.
By the time Natalia got there, everyone else was set up in the room. Eddie helped her get everything set up for the food while Elena and Marisol talked.
"She looks like she was accepted well." Natalia sounded happy.
Eddie looked at Marisol, who was smiling as she colored in a bit of leaf on the page she and Elena were both coloring.
"She does look like she was accepted, which is good, as I don't think we can have too many people in Elena's life." Eddie handed over the last of the drinks for the other end of the table. "There is a lot of family coming out of the woodwork for them. Even if some are distancing themselves from the. Do you think that Maddie and Chim will come around?"
"No, I don't think so. As much as Maddie's gotten herself better when it comes to the death of Daniel, I don't think that she's actually fully accepted what had happened to her and Buck growing up and how she had to bury her feelings about Daniel's death back then."
Eddie agreed with Natalia.
---
Natalia listened as Buck put Elena to bed with Chris there with him. It was the normal routine for them now when Chris was staying the night.
"Buck, is Chris my brother now?"
"If you want him to be, and he wants to be your brother, I don't see why not. Do you want him to be?"
"Yes."
Natalia looked down the hall just as Eddie was crossing it. She waved him toward her with a finger at her lips. It was too cute to not listen to it.
Eddie cocked an eyebrow, but he walked to where she was.
"And Chris, do you want her to be your sister?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then I now pronounce you heart siblings."
Eddie leaned into Natalia a little bit and held on tight.
Buck's life was a weird one, but Natalia always knew that she needed someone that would be willing to accept her weirdness. Natalia loved her job, and she was going to stick with it for as long as possible.
"You okay with that?" Natalia asked, her voice a whisper.
"Yes. Buck and I figured this was coming. Chris was asking about heart siblings, and Elena asked me. Buck's going to end up adopting her, and Chris already looks at Buck as a second father. It was bound to happen. So we just figured we would accept it for was. I'm not going to tell my kid he can't have an adopted sister like that. Buck's not quite my brother, but being best friends kind of feels like it's just the same as siblings."
Buck and Chris came out of the room with Chris rolling his eyes at the way Natalia and Eddie were standing.
"I'm going to bed to read. Go be weird."
Natalia laughed and let Eddie draw her into the living room. Marisol was still tucked into the corner of the couch where Natalia had left her to check on Buck when he had taken too long putting Elena to bed. Eddie had been getting the guest room set up for him and Marisol to sleep in once they were all drunk enough to sleep.
The bottles of wine were scattered on the coffee table, sitting in buckets of ice. Natalia started to top off the glasses while Marisol already had her glass topped off.
Buck took his glass from Natalia's hand before she held up Eddie's to him as well. She did her last, finishing off the bottle she and Buck had been sharing the last few glasses of.
"Is this movie almost over?" Buck asked as he relaxed back on the couch.
"No, we are about halfway through."
"Well, if I pass out, just tip me over and let me sleep here."
"I don't mind. Big old bed all to myself." Natalia leaned on him and waited for Buck to wrap his arm around her. It was good to feel wrapped up in his arms.
Eddie leaned into Buck, and then Marisol leaned into him.
This was one of the strangest little families she had ever met in her life, but she loved all of them. She was lucky that Marisol had kind of accepted how everything was with Buck and Eddie because there were a lot of people who wouldn't understand anything like what was going on. This was the kind of family that Natalia had always wanted, and she was glad to find it, even if it came with more fireworks than most families had that weren't drama magnets.
There were looks from people when they were out and about, and Eddie and Buck were too affectionate with each other. It was interesting to see how people reacted. Despite her job, Natalia liked to study people a little bit. The psychology classes she had put herself through to help clients and their family with their end-of-life affairs. It was enough for Natlaia to realize that people would always look at them weirdly, but she was also okay with that. She just wanted to be happy and in love, and it seemed like that might be Buck and the family he made for himself.
---
Buck heard the rustle of sheets and then felt the little body as it crawled up into bed with him. He gripped Elena tight when she lay on his chest. Natalia made a noise but didn't wake up.
"Can't sleep?"
"Yes, but wanted to be with you."
"Ah, weird dreams. You know you are always welcome in here unless the door is locked."
That made Elena giggle a little. The door opened even more, and there was a huff from Eddie.
"I guess it's sleepover time. Marisol kicked me out of bed when Chris wouldn't stop wiggling."
"Weird dreams all around?"
"NO, he just didn't like being alone in bed. I thought we could shove him into bed with Elena, but she wasn't there."
"Why don't we just all sleep on the floor in the living room? I'll work on getting the two mattresses we bought for that out." Natalia slipped out of bed with a kiss on Buck's cheek. "And get Marisol. We can shove the kids in the middle, and we will take the outside of the bed."
"Yeah," Elena said.
"Okay, that works. Up." Buck bounced on the bed a little making Elena giggle more.
"Vamos, Chris," Eddie said.
"How is this our life?" Buck asked as Chris flipped the light on as he left the room.
"I am not sure if we did good or bad."
Elena wiggled off Buck before she ran out of the room. The nightmares were normal for the two kids in the wake of one of the kids in chemo having a reaction to their medication and nearly dying. Still, Buck hadn't expected this. It was why everyone was here in the same house, just to be safe. He should have thought of the whole thing about sleeping all in the same space with the kids.
"You aren't perfect; we are working on getting you there, though. Father of the year."
Buck let Eddie pull him up off the bed. It felt good to be wanted, even if Eddie only wanted him as a co-parent and best friend. It was more than Buck had ever felt like anyone wanted him before. So they were going to work on themselves and make sure that Elena had a good life, even if it would end soon. The scans looked promising, and she could hopefully start her next round of what the doctor had in store for her. They just had to get through this. It felt like it was getting through the dark forest to find the open sky.
"Come on before they talk the ladies into watching a movie."
The sound of the opening to a Disney movie sounded as soon as Buck got into the hallway. "Too late."
"Eh, they won't last long, but the earworms will last for days."
"How do you know?"
"You think they aren't going to want to watch Frozen?"
Buck groaned, and he looked a the screen as they came into the living room to see the TV paused on the opening of Frozen.
Eddie gave Buck the biggest "I told you so" look in the world, so Buck just rolled his eyes. He shoved Eddie toward where Natalia had gotten the first mattress out of the closet they had been shoved. Getting the room set up took no time, and when he looked over, his little family gathered on the beds like there was nothing wrong in the world, making Buck feel like maybe, for the first time, he would be happy.
The people he loved were all that he needed to make his world feel like it was right. Maybe Elena was the kick in the butt he needed to make sure his family was who loved him for who he was, not who they thought he was.
The End
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