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fan_flashworks2025-07-09 08:03 pm
m_findlow) wrote in fan_flashworks2025-07-09 08:03 pm
Entry tags:
Torchwood: Fanfic: SUV-mersible
Title: SUV-mersible
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,644 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 484 - Science
Summary: Jack has a surprise for Ianto.
‘You never told me why we’re here,’ Ianto said, frowning as Jack pulled the SUV to a halt. He took one look at the old Bute docks, now nothing more than long pools of somewhat stagnant water, made less appealing by the overcast skies above them, and heaved an internal groan. It had better not be another Gaspinxpa, he warned, and if it is, you should have told me before we left so that I could change into wellingtons and a rain slicker. Or perhaps a wet suit. He didn't fancy having to wrangle another large orange hairy octopus creature that was all tentacles and keen on having visitors join it in the water for some playtime. Harmless perhaps, but one could always end up accidentally drowned by its concept of playtime.
Jack gave a self satisfied grin which made Ianto immediately suspicious. ‘Nope. No aliens today, Mister Jones. Just you and me and the SUV.’
Ianto looked around. He knew what that meant, but it was broad daylight. Anyone might see them if Jack was up for a bit of afternoon delight. At least when they did it at night it was usually dark and some place where people were unlikely to stumble across them as they tore off clothes and fogged up the car windows "Titanic style". They weren't going to get a lot of privacy out here at this time of day.
‘Perhaps we should take it back to the hub,’ he suggested, hoping Jack might come to his senses and agree that naked hide and seek was a lot more fun in the hub than the kind that involved only hiding from public view. ‘It would be just our luck to get some random police officer doing the rounds and arrest us,’ he added, underscoring a problem that had yet to rear its head, though was probably only a matter of time, and down to more good luck than good planning.
Jack raised a curious eyebrow. ‘What for?’
‘Indecent exposure?’
Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Not underwater, they won't.’
Ianto felt his brow crease in confusion. ‘Not sure I follow.’ Which by now should have been par for the course wherever Jack was concerned.
‘Thought I owed you after last time,’ came Jack's cryptic reply. Jack eased the accelerator and the SUV inched forward towards a concrete boat ramp at the water's edge.
‘Jack, what are you doing?’ Ianto's panicked words spilled out.
He watched in horror as Jack twiddled the heating control, pressed the third radio station button from the left and then tapped the left and side of the heads-up display. Ianto knew what all the buttons and dials in the SUV did. They didn't just flick on the windscreen wipers or crank up the heating on a cold day. In combination – and yes, Ianto knew all of them but would never reveal how he'd come to learn it – they triggered some of the car's more unusual and bespoke features. Like the one that was intended on turning the SUV from a rubber burning roadster into an aquatic powered bathyscaphe.
‘No, don't do it!’ Ianto cried, wondering, not for the first time, if Jack hadn't lost his mind. He remembered all too vividly what had happened the last time Ianto had sat in the driver's seat and thought it a good idea to give the SUV's submersible features a test drive. Jack had warned him it had only ever been a concept and completely untested, but that hadn't deterred the boyish curiosity in him, sending the SUV lurching headlong into the Irish Sea, only to find themselves quickly a few hundred yards out from shore in a slowly sinking, slowly building full of water, vehicular death-trap. Ianto was embarrassed but also a little bit annoyed at the spectacular failure. These sorts of things just didn't happen to Bruce Wayne.
‘Relax Ianto,’ Jack assured him as the front of the SUVs bonnet ploughed into the water, hearing the clunk and shift of the car as wings jutted from the doors and the back hatch opened to reveal four miniature jet propellers, whilst a partition came down between the front seats and the rear, making it a sub for two and not four or five. Water spilled over the bonnet and up across the windscreen, level rising further and further as the car continued its plunge into dark water.
He waited for the inevitable thunk as the SUV reached the end of the boat ramp and plunged vertically until it hit that bottom of the dock, which would have been deep considering the large coal ships that had once frequented it, loading vast quantities of freshly mined steam coal until their hulls were bulging under the enormous weight of it all. Except there was no thunk as they hit rock bottom. There was a little lurch of his stomach as the SUV became light and tootled forward, leaving behind it a trickling stream of bubbles.
‘And behold we are water-borne,’ Jack announced, turning the steering wheel slightly and making the SUV tip to the left on its new fins. He hit the headlights and suddenly the darkness in front of them was illuminated, two beams of light slicing through the murky water, reflecting back the bottom of the Bute docks as sediment skipped up from their bow waves, revealing long sunken crates and old bits of rope and metal chains, submerged for the better part of eighty years and abandoned there to be forgotten as the docks were concreted shut forever, a sunken maritime time capsule.
‘We're not sinking,’ Ianto remarked.
‘No, we're not.’
‘How?’
Jack shrugged. ‘Oh, you know, just some tweaking in my spare time, a little tinkering here, some redesign there…’
Ianto narrowed his eyes. ‘You don't have spare time.’ He should know. Jack barely slept some nights but Ianto also knew he was never more than a few yards away up in his office tapping away on overdue administration whilst he let Ianto carry on sleeping down in his bunker.
‘You don't always know as much about me as you think you do,’ Jack reminded him.
Jack carried on manoeuvring the SUV. It was more like doing laps of a swimming pool but he supposed at least they wouldn't accidentally run into any sealife or other vessels. The SUV swayed on its axis slightly as Jack steered it left and right, but it moved lightly and easily through the water.
‘So…’ Jack finally said. ‘What do you think of the Torchwood convertible submersible?’
Ianto grinned and shook his head. ‘You're like a mad scientist, you know that?’
Jack grinned back. ‘I'm the Q to your James Bond.’ Jack let that sink in, knowing Ianto would appreciate the reference to him being the action packed debonair double-O agent, even if it wasn't strictly true. ‘So, you still haven't told me what you think,’ Jack said, pressing him for compliments.
Ianto considered his words. ‘I think maybe you did this for me more than you did out of a desire to simply get it working.’
‘Well, I saw the look on your face that first time you tried it out and how could I deny that boyish excitement?’
‘A shame it had to all end so anticlimactically.’ Not to mention Jack had been rather pissed about it afterwards, having the SUV out of commission for days until the engine could be completely reconditioned to remove all the salt and sand clogging up its vital workings. Not Ianto's best work, he had to admit. Sometimes it didn't pay to know everything, or think you knew everything.
‘And now?’ Jack pressed him. ‘How does this ending compare?;
Ianto gave him one of those looks he reserved for Jack. The one that said he was thinking terribly dirty, naughty thoughts and that Jack was the only one allowed to know what those were. ‘I think the SUV submersible needs christening.’
Jack grinned and chuckled. ‘Oh… we've never done it underwater before.’
‘Always a first time,’ Ianto said, leaning forward. ‘It's not quite twenty thousand leagues under the sea but…’
Jack leaned over to meet him halfway, enjoying their kiss. His hand found Ianto's elbow just as Ianto's hand found his leg. The kiss was long and lingering, Jack content with them taking their time. No sense rushing things. They had hours and no one knew they were here.
Ianto flinched as something pinged between them and broke their kiss. Ianto touched his forehead and then looked up. ‘Uh, Jack?’
Jack looked up as well. Right there, just at the edge of the overhead light came a slow steady drip, falling between them and splashing on the centre console. They both began to frantically look around, searching for more sources of dripping, but not able to spot any in the semi dark. Still the drip drip sound of the water between them could be heard hitting the console in a slow steady rhythm.
‘It's just one little leak,’ Jack said.
‘All the same, perhaps best not to chance it,’ Ianto replied. ‘Engine still working?’
Jack twisted the key, silently relieved to hear it turn over and the sound of jet bubbles beginning to issue from the rear of the car. ‘We're good.’
‘Excellent. Didn't want to have to wade our way back to the dock's edge. Or have to arrange for a tow and need to explain how our SUV ended up in the docks, or why it has water wings.’
Jack gently pressed the accelerator and the submersible puttered forward. ‘I swear I'd got it working this time.’
‘Close. But I think if we need to travel by water we should probably stick to the Torchwood sub.’
Jack heaved a sigh. ‘You're probably right.’
Ianto patted him on the leg. ‘Still, it's the thought that counts. What's science without a little experimentation?’
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,644 words
Content notes: None
Author notes: Written for Challenge 484 - Science
Summary: Jack has a surprise for Ianto.
‘You never told me why we’re here,’ Ianto said, frowning as Jack pulled the SUV to a halt. He took one look at the old Bute docks, now nothing more than long pools of somewhat stagnant water, made less appealing by the overcast skies above them, and heaved an internal groan. It had better not be another Gaspinxpa, he warned, and if it is, you should have told me before we left so that I could change into wellingtons and a rain slicker. Or perhaps a wet suit. He didn't fancy having to wrangle another large orange hairy octopus creature that was all tentacles and keen on having visitors join it in the water for some playtime. Harmless perhaps, but one could always end up accidentally drowned by its concept of playtime.
Jack gave a self satisfied grin which made Ianto immediately suspicious. ‘Nope. No aliens today, Mister Jones. Just you and me and the SUV.’
Ianto looked around. He knew what that meant, but it was broad daylight. Anyone might see them if Jack was up for a bit of afternoon delight. At least when they did it at night it was usually dark and some place where people were unlikely to stumble across them as they tore off clothes and fogged up the car windows "Titanic style". They weren't going to get a lot of privacy out here at this time of day.
‘Perhaps we should take it back to the hub,’ he suggested, hoping Jack might come to his senses and agree that naked hide and seek was a lot more fun in the hub than the kind that involved only hiding from public view. ‘It would be just our luck to get some random police officer doing the rounds and arrest us,’ he added, underscoring a problem that had yet to rear its head, though was probably only a matter of time, and down to more good luck than good planning.
Jack raised a curious eyebrow. ‘What for?’
‘Indecent exposure?’
Jack rolled his eyes. ‘Not underwater, they won't.’
Ianto felt his brow crease in confusion. ‘Not sure I follow.’ Which by now should have been par for the course wherever Jack was concerned.
‘Thought I owed you after last time,’ came Jack's cryptic reply. Jack eased the accelerator and the SUV inched forward towards a concrete boat ramp at the water's edge.
‘Jack, what are you doing?’ Ianto's panicked words spilled out.
He watched in horror as Jack twiddled the heating control, pressed the third radio station button from the left and then tapped the left and side of the heads-up display. Ianto knew what all the buttons and dials in the SUV did. They didn't just flick on the windscreen wipers or crank up the heating on a cold day. In combination – and yes, Ianto knew all of them but would never reveal how he'd come to learn it – they triggered some of the car's more unusual and bespoke features. Like the one that was intended on turning the SUV from a rubber burning roadster into an aquatic powered bathyscaphe.
‘No, don't do it!’ Ianto cried, wondering, not for the first time, if Jack hadn't lost his mind. He remembered all too vividly what had happened the last time Ianto had sat in the driver's seat and thought it a good idea to give the SUV's submersible features a test drive. Jack had warned him it had only ever been a concept and completely untested, but that hadn't deterred the boyish curiosity in him, sending the SUV lurching headlong into the Irish Sea, only to find themselves quickly a few hundred yards out from shore in a slowly sinking, slowly building full of water, vehicular death-trap. Ianto was embarrassed but also a little bit annoyed at the spectacular failure. These sorts of things just didn't happen to Bruce Wayne.
‘Relax Ianto,’ Jack assured him as the front of the SUVs bonnet ploughed into the water, hearing the clunk and shift of the car as wings jutted from the doors and the back hatch opened to reveal four miniature jet propellers, whilst a partition came down between the front seats and the rear, making it a sub for two and not four or five. Water spilled over the bonnet and up across the windscreen, level rising further and further as the car continued its plunge into dark water.
He waited for the inevitable thunk as the SUV reached the end of the boat ramp and plunged vertically until it hit that bottom of the dock, which would have been deep considering the large coal ships that had once frequented it, loading vast quantities of freshly mined steam coal until their hulls were bulging under the enormous weight of it all. Except there was no thunk as they hit rock bottom. There was a little lurch of his stomach as the SUV became light and tootled forward, leaving behind it a trickling stream of bubbles.
‘And behold we are water-borne,’ Jack announced, turning the steering wheel slightly and making the SUV tip to the left on its new fins. He hit the headlights and suddenly the darkness in front of them was illuminated, two beams of light slicing through the murky water, reflecting back the bottom of the Bute docks as sediment skipped up from their bow waves, revealing long sunken crates and old bits of rope and metal chains, submerged for the better part of eighty years and abandoned there to be forgotten as the docks were concreted shut forever, a sunken maritime time capsule.
‘We're not sinking,’ Ianto remarked.
‘No, we're not.’
‘How?’
Jack shrugged. ‘Oh, you know, just some tweaking in my spare time, a little tinkering here, some redesign there…’
Ianto narrowed his eyes. ‘You don't have spare time.’ He should know. Jack barely slept some nights but Ianto also knew he was never more than a few yards away up in his office tapping away on overdue administration whilst he let Ianto carry on sleeping down in his bunker.
‘You don't always know as much about me as you think you do,’ Jack reminded him.
Jack carried on manoeuvring the SUV. It was more like doing laps of a swimming pool but he supposed at least they wouldn't accidentally run into any sealife or other vessels. The SUV swayed on its axis slightly as Jack steered it left and right, but it moved lightly and easily through the water.
‘So…’ Jack finally said. ‘What do you think of the Torchwood convertible submersible?’
Ianto grinned and shook his head. ‘You're like a mad scientist, you know that?’
Jack grinned back. ‘I'm the Q to your James Bond.’ Jack let that sink in, knowing Ianto would appreciate the reference to him being the action packed debonair double-O agent, even if it wasn't strictly true. ‘So, you still haven't told me what you think,’ Jack said, pressing him for compliments.
Ianto considered his words. ‘I think maybe you did this for me more than you did out of a desire to simply get it working.’
‘Well, I saw the look on your face that first time you tried it out and how could I deny that boyish excitement?’
‘A shame it had to all end so anticlimactically.’ Not to mention Jack had been rather pissed about it afterwards, having the SUV out of commission for days until the engine could be completely reconditioned to remove all the salt and sand clogging up its vital workings. Not Ianto's best work, he had to admit. Sometimes it didn't pay to know everything, or think you knew everything.
‘And now?’ Jack pressed him. ‘How does this ending compare?;
Ianto gave him one of those looks he reserved for Jack. The one that said he was thinking terribly dirty, naughty thoughts and that Jack was the only one allowed to know what those were. ‘I think the SUV submersible needs christening.’
Jack grinned and chuckled. ‘Oh… we've never done it underwater before.’
‘Always a first time,’ Ianto said, leaning forward. ‘It's not quite twenty thousand leagues under the sea but…’
Jack leaned over to meet him halfway, enjoying their kiss. His hand found Ianto's elbow just as Ianto's hand found his leg. The kiss was long and lingering, Jack content with them taking their time. No sense rushing things. They had hours and no one knew they were here.
Ianto flinched as something pinged between them and broke their kiss. Ianto touched his forehead and then looked up. ‘Uh, Jack?’
Jack looked up as well. Right there, just at the edge of the overhead light came a slow steady drip, falling between them and splashing on the centre console. They both began to frantically look around, searching for more sources of dripping, but not able to spot any in the semi dark. Still the drip drip sound of the water between them could be heard hitting the console in a slow steady rhythm.
‘It's just one little leak,’ Jack said.
‘All the same, perhaps best not to chance it,’ Ianto replied. ‘Engine still working?’
Jack twisted the key, silently relieved to hear it turn over and the sound of jet bubbles beginning to issue from the rear of the car. ‘We're good.’
‘Excellent. Didn't want to have to wade our way back to the dock's edge. Or have to arrange for a tow and need to explain how our SUV ended up in the docks, or why it has water wings.’
Jack gently pressed the accelerator and the submersible puttered forward. ‘I swear I'd got it working this time.’
‘Close. But I think if we need to travel by water we should probably stick to the Torchwood sub.’
Jack heaved a sigh. ‘You're probably right.’
Ianto patted him on the leg. ‘Still, it's the thought that counts. What's science without a little experimentation?’