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fan_flashworks2024-11-13 01:54 pm
darkjediqueen) wrote in fan_flashworks2024-11-13 01:54 pm
Entry tags:
9-1-1: Fan Fiction: Drawing That Line
Title: Drawing That Line
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard
Tags: 8.06 Spoilers, Angst, Getting Back Together (it was like a two-minute break up)
Summary: Buck was going to draw that line in the sand.
Word Count: 1,523
Author Notes: I have deleted the whole Tommy having dated Abby thing from my mind.
"Stop," Buck said as he watched Tommy at the door.
Tommy, thankfully, stopped. He didn't turn around, but he stopped.
"If you walk out that door, you can never come back. Ever. I will never speak to you again."
Tommy dropped his hand off the door but still didn't turn around.
"Thank you. Now, tell me what is going through your head. I get it. I moved too fast for you in some way, just like when I shoved you back into the closet on our first date." Buck stood up and walked over to Tommy, turning him around to face him. He could see the tears in Tommy's eyes as well as the fear. "Tell me what I did; don't just throw us away."
Tommy swallowed, and he looked away from Buck.
"I thought before that your fast pace was something that I wanted because it helped me not have to think of the bad shit. Then tonight. I barely recovered from the whole thing with you freaking out about me having been engaged to a woman before and how I treated her. I know it freaked you out that night. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I really didn't understand how you could do that, but I can see it. Josh really helped with that because I haven't looked into what it was like back then. I grew up in a more accepting world, and I had a very different view of it by the time I started to notice how people were treated." Buck cupped Tommy's cheeks. "So I talked about moving in after that, which freaked you out."
"You were talking about me like I'm some paragon of the perfect gay elder now, Evan."
"At least I'm Evan again. Do not ever call me Buck again, please. Unless you need to let me know you have been kidnapped or are being forced to do something against your will."
Tommy laughed at that, and he leaned in for a kiss. He smiled.
"I'm not perfect," Tommy said.
"No, you just proved that, but that wasn't what I meant by all of that. You are so settled in your skin, and that helps me stay settled as I learn about myself. I don't need you to tell me that I need to have other people. No two relationships are the same, but I don't need to go out and hook up and try to date other guys to find out that I want you, Tommy."
"Hen will kill me if you ever tell her that I said that."
"Why?"
"It's a common biphobic stereotype. There is no set number of relations that one has to have with each sex to be able to know what they want in life. I didn't mean to say that. Okay, no, wait, I did. I mean to hurt you with it, but it went over your head."
"Yeah, you can be a little bitchy when you want to be. Let's forget the movie, order something, and just talk." Buck brushed his thumbs over Tommy's cheeks, and he nodded into his hands.
"I need a few minutes, okay?" Tommy waved toward the bathroom.
Buck let go of him instead of heading right for the bathroom; Tommy leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too."
"You didn't mean to make me freak out, but I accept."
"I know, but I just pushed forward. Playing that scene back in my head, I can see how freaked out you were. I think maybe I should have led with something else that I figured out when Josh was talking to me. He asked me, and I couldn't answer because it felt like it was too soon, but it also felt so right. I love you."
Buck could see the tears forming in Tommy's eyes. Tommy swallowed, and it was one of those hard ones that Buck knew sometimes hurt.
"I love you, too," Tommy said, but instead of leaning in for a kiss, he broke away and went to the bathroom.
Buck let him go because he understood he felt too much and needed a moment. He would be right here when Tommy was ready. He grabbed the menus and went through them to figure out what he didn't want, leaving the pile for Tommy to pick a place.
---
Tommy wasn't sure what woke him up, but he stayed still as he assessed what was going on. Even being years out of the military hadn't stopped him from threat assessment.
He was at Evan's, and the night came back to him, and he felt Evan crying on him. They had spent the whole night talking in a way they hadn't before. Tommy had let Evan set the pace before, and they had grown close, close enough for love, but there were conversations that Tommy had kept them from having. He had danced around them and dodged them because having them meant he was going to get his heart broken.
Then, he ended up breaking it, and he was only thankful that Evan had been willing to draw that line in the sand.
"I'm here, baby," Tommy whispered into Evan's ears.
Tommy wrapped his arms around him tighter. There was so much of the anniversary dinner that he regretted. The Lakers tickets had been the only part he had been sure of. The small joke between them had been enough that Tommy thought it would dull the ache when Evan hadn't had one. Tommy got it, though. It wasn't like Tommy had really brought it up, and he could see where Evan thought a dinner out was good.
The cracks had started there, but it was his insecurities that were crashing against each other. Evan not getting a gift meant that if Tommy didn't, he wouldn't be hurt; only Tommy did, and it threw him. Then there was the whole having been engaged to a woman.
Tommy started rubbing his hand up and down Evan's back and waited for him to settle, for the tears to stop coming out from whatever bad dream he was having. It didn't take long once Tommy started to make it known he was there.
Plans, decisions about what they were going, and the intent were made. Tommy should have realized what Evan's intent was at the graveside, but Tommy had still been more focused on the fact he was there for a funeral for a dead man who Evan thought had cursed him. Looking back, Tommy should have realized that they had become homey with each other in the weeks. There were rarely nights spent apart, even before the boils and a dislocated shoulder. Tommy sleeping on that stupid couch too small for him should have been the first clue.
Evan's lease was up soon, and that meant it was now or in a year. Tommy had wanted Evan in his space for a long time, but the idea of living together scared him. He had been there before, or at least nearly there, and then the guy had left him. The speech had been nearly the same: he was Tommy's first and not his last. Tommy hated himself for throwing that back at him, even forgetting the way it would sound with Evan being bisexual.
There was nothing that Tommy hated more than the pain he had given himself and Evan over this.
"I love you," Tommy said before he closed his eyes and let himself sleep again.
---
Tommy smelled breakfast before he woke up. He dreamed about it, and then he was there. He blinked as he sat up, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes without rubbing them. Evan wasn't in bed, but he was coming up the stairs.
Evan was smiling so brightly.
"Move in with me," Tommy said.
Evan tripped on the stairs but thankfully, no food went flying as he was able to recover.
"What?" Evan asked as he set the tray at the foot of the bed.
Tommy sat up, and he held out his hands to him.
"I agree that we don't need to be apart when we can be together. We both kind of freaked out about this, but I want it. It's all I thought about last night as I was falling asleep with you in my arms, and while we are still going slow, I don't want that to be us both having two places to live. We can make sure that we have our spaces while we get used to living with each other. We can take time moving you out of here until your lease is up."
"You are insane."
"You are rubbing off on me. I want this. I do. We are going in with our eyes open. We can make sure that we take the steps we need while having the life that we both want."
Tommy pulled Evan to him, and Evan came, pressing a kiss on Tommy's forehead.
"Yes," Evan said.
"Good. I'm happy."
Tommy kissed him, and he wrapped him in a hug.
Yesterday had sucked, but they had the future together now.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: No Warnings Apply
Fandom: 9-1-1
Relationships: Evan Buckley/Tommy Kinard
Tags: 8.06 Spoilers, Angst, Getting Back Together (it was like a two-minute break up)
Summary: Buck was going to draw that line in the sand.
Word Count: 1,523
Author Notes: I have deleted the whole Tommy having dated Abby thing from my mind.
"Stop," Buck said as he watched Tommy at the door.
Tommy, thankfully, stopped. He didn't turn around, but he stopped.
"If you walk out that door, you can never come back. Ever. I will never speak to you again."
Tommy dropped his hand off the door but still didn't turn around.
"Thank you. Now, tell me what is going through your head. I get it. I moved too fast for you in some way, just like when I shoved you back into the closet on our first date." Buck stood up and walked over to Tommy, turning him around to face him. He could see the tears in Tommy's eyes as well as the fear. "Tell me what I did; don't just throw us away."
Tommy swallowed, and he looked away from Buck.
"I thought before that your fast pace was something that I wanted because it helped me not have to think of the bad shit. Then tonight. I barely recovered from the whole thing with you freaking out about me having been engaged to a woman before and how I treated her. I know it freaked you out that night. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I really didn't understand how you could do that, but I can see it. Josh really helped with that because I haven't looked into what it was like back then. I grew up in a more accepting world, and I had a very different view of it by the time I started to notice how people were treated." Buck cupped Tommy's cheeks. "So I talked about moving in after that, which freaked you out."
"You were talking about me like I'm some paragon of the perfect gay elder now, Evan."
"At least I'm Evan again. Do not ever call me Buck again, please. Unless you need to let me know you have been kidnapped or are being forced to do something against your will."
Tommy laughed at that, and he leaned in for a kiss. He smiled.
"I'm not perfect," Tommy said.
"No, you just proved that, but that wasn't what I meant by all of that. You are so settled in your skin, and that helps me stay settled as I learn about myself. I don't need you to tell me that I need to have other people. No two relationships are the same, but I don't need to go out and hook up and try to date other guys to find out that I want you, Tommy."
"Hen will kill me if you ever tell her that I said that."
"Why?"
"It's a common biphobic stereotype. There is no set number of relations that one has to have with each sex to be able to know what they want in life. I didn't mean to say that. Okay, no, wait, I did. I mean to hurt you with it, but it went over your head."
"Yeah, you can be a little bitchy when you want to be. Let's forget the movie, order something, and just talk." Buck brushed his thumbs over Tommy's cheeks, and he nodded into his hands.
"I need a few minutes, okay?" Tommy waved toward the bathroom.
Buck let go of him instead of heading right for the bathroom; Tommy leaned in to kiss him. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, too."
"You didn't mean to make me freak out, but I accept."
"I know, but I just pushed forward. Playing that scene back in my head, I can see how freaked out you were. I think maybe I should have led with something else that I figured out when Josh was talking to me. He asked me, and I couldn't answer because it felt like it was too soon, but it also felt so right. I love you."
Buck could see the tears forming in Tommy's eyes. Tommy swallowed, and it was one of those hard ones that Buck knew sometimes hurt.
"I love you, too," Tommy said, but instead of leaning in for a kiss, he broke away and went to the bathroom.
Buck let him go because he understood he felt too much and needed a moment. He would be right here when Tommy was ready. He grabbed the menus and went through them to figure out what he didn't want, leaving the pile for Tommy to pick a place.
---
Tommy wasn't sure what woke him up, but he stayed still as he assessed what was going on. Even being years out of the military hadn't stopped him from threat assessment.
He was at Evan's, and the night came back to him, and he felt Evan crying on him. They had spent the whole night talking in a way they hadn't before. Tommy had let Evan set the pace before, and they had grown close, close enough for love, but there were conversations that Tommy had kept them from having. He had danced around them and dodged them because having them meant he was going to get his heart broken.
Then, he ended up breaking it, and he was only thankful that Evan had been willing to draw that line in the sand.
"I'm here, baby," Tommy whispered into Evan's ears.
Tommy wrapped his arms around him tighter. There was so much of the anniversary dinner that he regretted. The Lakers tickets had been the only part he had been sure of. The small joke between them had been enough that Tommy thought it would dull the ache when Evan hadn't had one. Tommy got it, though. It wasn't like Tommy had really brought it up, and he could see where Evan thought a dinner out was good.
The cracks had started there, but it was his insecurities that were crashing against each other. Evan not getting a gift meant that if Tommy didn't, he wouldn't be hurt; only Tommy did, and it threw him. Then there was the whole having been engaged to a woman.
Tommy started rubbing his hand up and down Evan's back and waited for him to settle, for the tears to stop coming out from whatever bad dream he was having. It didn't take long once Tommy started to make it known he was there.
Plans, decisions about what they were going, and the intent were made. Tommy should have realized what Evan's intent was at the graveside, but Tommy had still been more focused on the fact he was there for a funeral for a dead man who Evan thought had cursed him. Looking back, Tommy should have realized that they had become homey with each other in the weeks. There were rarely nights spent apart, even before the boils and a dislocated shoulder. Tommy sleeping on that stupid couch too small for him should have been the first clue.
Evan's lease was up soon, and that meant it was now or in a year. Tommy had wanted Evan in his space for a long time, but the idea of living together scared him. He had been there before, or at least nearly there, and then the guy had left him. The speech had been nearly the same: he was Tommy's first and not his last. Tommy hated himself for throwing that back at him, even forgetting the way it would sound with Evan being bisexual.
There was nothing that Tommy hated more than the pain he had given himself and Evan over this.
"I love you," Tommy said before he closed his eyes and let himself sleep again.
---
Tommy smelled breakfast before he woke up. He dreamed about it, and then he was there. He blinked as he sat up, trying to get the sleep out of his eyes without rubbing them. Evan wasn't in bed, but he was coming up the stairs.
Evan was smiling so brightly.
"Move in with me," Tommy said.
Evan tripped on the stairs but thankfully, no food went flying as he was able to recover.
"What?" Evan asked as he set the tray at the foot of the bed.
Tommy sat up, and he held out his hands to him.
"I agree that we don't need to be apart when we can be together. We both kind of freaked out about this, but I want it. It's all I thought about last night as I was falling asleep with you in my arms, and while we are still going slow, I don't want that to be us both having two places to live. We can make sure that we have our spaces while we get used to living with each other. We can take time moving you out of here until your lease is up."
"You are insane."
"You are rubbing off on me. I want this. I do. We are going in with our eyes open. We can make sure that we take the steps we need while having the life that we both want."
Tommy pulled Evan to him, and Evan came, pressing a kiss on Tommy's forehead.
"Yes," Evan said.
"Good. I'm happy."
Tommy kissed him, and he wrapped him in a hug.
Yesterday had sucked, but they had the future together now.