Guardian: poetry: things you used to know

[china_shop]

Title: things you used to know
Fandom: Guardian
Rating: G
Length: ~150 words
Notes: I haven’t written a poem in decades and I didn't intend to any time soon, but I gave this prompt to ranalore yesterday, and today this happened. (Apparently I’m subconsciously going for another “8 works in 4 media” badge or something?) Anyway, posting this now before it eats any more of my life. Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan. Pining. Set early in the show, with implied spoilers to episode 34/35; 1st & 2nd person POV what is happening to me; a certain amount of loss and bitterness. Also for the FFW Bingo prompt “Role Reversal”. No warnings.
Summary: (See the title.)



things you used to know

1.
How to let a calm night settle
like moth wings on your lips.
When you asked about me,
your moonlight smile
invited
my reply.

2.
Who we would be.

3.
How to love me. Yes, and that, too:
how to love me. (But did you know
your need was nine-tenths mine
reflected?)

4.
Your own importance; you were careful
with the heavy round weights
of your words. You passed them
like full bowls of water
to my parched self,
gracefully, not spilling a drop.

After drinking,
I piled them high
and made a lookout, climbed up;
the world and time stretched wide around me.
I spread them out to make a bed
and woke refreshed.


Now

all your questions have a point,
scalpels
aimed to slice
my skin so you can see
inside. That I bleed is incidental.

Comments

[rheasilvia]

This is lovely!

Poor Shen Wei. It's rough, finally finding the love of your life again only to have him be so different, and not at all the loving, warm, knowing and soothing presence he used to be for Shen Wei. That - the wistfulness, the longing and the bitterness, even the little bit of indignation - comes through so well here!

[china_shop]

Thank you!!

Yeah, it's such a wonderfully deliciously angsty difficult situation to be in. All that waiting alone, and now more waiting until ZYL becomes who he was. *pets Shen Wei* *rolls around in the angst*

[riventhorn]

I loved the ending parts in particular:

After drinking,
I piled them high
and made a lookout, climbed up;
the world and time stretched wide around me.
I spread them out to make a bed
and woke refreshed.


Now

all your questions have a point,
scalpels
aimed to slice
my skin so you can see
inside. That I bleed is incidental.

Great imagery and emotion and then a perfect insight into how ZYL acts quite differently from Kunlun, at least initially.

[goss]

<3333 (I am bad at saying what I like about this, but it just grabs me and makes me *feel*....something.)

I have a question - would you be okay with me using your words as inspiration for creating a piece of fanart? I am considering illustrating a poem for an art challenge, and I think this one would be lovely. :)

[extrapenguin]

Ahh this is lovely! It's very bitter and apt and makes me want to write poetry as well, lol. My favorite bit is the very end, especially "That I bleed is incidental." It just hits so nicely as the last words of the bitter twist of the end.

[teaotter]

This is beautiful and painful and very, very good.

[sylvanwitch]

I do not watch the show, though I cannot help, in these circles, to know something of it. :-) This is a lovely, poignant poem rich with unresolved heartache. It is delightful. The plaintive tone is particularly evocative. Brava!

[mergatrude]

Thanks for making me cry!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[teaotter]

Also, I find the resentment very interesting. Utterly understandable, of course, but not something I see people bring out about Shen Wei's Noble Pining.


Hmm. I'm writing only from Zhao Yunlan's POV at the moment because I can't figure Shen Wei out at all (and don't really expect to until I've seen 34/35 and then re-watched everything a fifth time...). But this fits with some of the things I've been thinking about him, and just, hmmmmmmmm.


I'm still at sea about Shen Wei's point of view (and expect to be so until I get through at least 34/35), so glimpses into other people's thoughts about him are fascinating.

[china_shop]

Thank you!! I can't help feeling that present day ZYL must have come as quite a shock, after Kunlun. *pets Shen Wei forever*

[china_shop]

Thanks, you! (I'm bad at talking about poetry, too.)

And yes, absolutely! Help yourself. And please send me a link if/when you post it, so I can see? (For future reference, I have a blanket permissions statement for transformative works.)

[china_shop]

So glad it works for you! I can't decide if he's actually bitter or just disappointed. Kunlun was just, you know, SO NICE TO HIM, and ZYL is so suspicious. *pets him forever*

Thanks!! :-D

[china_shop]

Thaaaank you!! :-)

[china_shop]

Oh, thank you so much for reading despite not knowing the canon. I'm so glad it worked for you anyway. *beams* There is a lot of unresolved heartache to start off with (but it gets better!).

[china_shop]

*ALL THE HUGS*

(Thaaaaank youuuuuu! <3)

[china_shop]

Also, I find the resentment very interesting. Utterly understandable, of course, but not something I see people bring out about Shen Wei's Noble Pining.

Yes. I know I labelled it as resentment in my notes, but in retrospect, I wonder if it's more like disappointment. *does not say more at this stage*

Glad to have been thought-provoking! ;-)

[teaotter]

I've stopped trying to avoid spoilers; I had to actively seek them out during the Merit Brush plotline or stop watching altogether. *sadface*

But the good news is that I'm still fannish about the show, which is the main thing I was worried about. My relationships with media are often fragile.

[china_shop]

Oh, good! I'm so so glad your fannishness persisted (so long as it doesn't compromise your health!). \o/ \o/ \o/

So you know, generally speaking, what happens in eps 34/35?

[teaotter]

Yep.

But it occurs to me that I don't necessarily want to get into spoilers for later episodes in your comments here. I'm sure I can catch you in one of our other comment thread conversations -- it's not like Guardian isn't 90% what I'm talking about these days!

[maggie33]

That's beautiful. I especially loved this part:

Your own importance; you were careful
with the heavy round weights
of your words. You passed them
like full bowls of water
to my parched self,
gracefully, not spilling a drop.

Because the angst is delicious here. :) There is longing, but also a little bit of impatience and frustration. It works well together.

[goss]

Awesome, thank you! I'll be working on it sometime over the next two weeks, and will drop you a link when it's posted. :)

[china_shop]

*\o/*

[mific]

Lovely imagery, intense. I like it a lot.

[mekare]

Wow. This is great. I'd like to second/third this bit:

After drinking,
I piled them high
and made a lookout, climbed up;
the world and time stretched wide around me.
I spread them out to make a bed
and woke refreshed.

Wonderful

[clevermanka]

[china_shop]

I'm sure I can catch you in one of our other comment thread conversations -- it's not like Guardian isn't 90% what I'm talking about these days!

Ha! Excellent point. (I just told my gastroenterologist he should tell his brother to watch it. /o\)

[china_shop]

Thank youuuuu! <3

I think Shen Wei is entitled to a little frustration and impatience, after all this time. ;-)

[china_shop]

Thanks, you! *beams*

[china_shop]

Thanks so much! *beams*

[china_shop]

Aww! Thanks! <3

[lynndyre]

This is so lovely. ♥

[china_shop]

Thanks! :-)

(ETA: Ohhhh, your icon! *stares*)

[lynndyre]

It's from the icon battle batch I made! - and remembered to crosspost, for once :)

[ride_4ever]

I know this fandom only from "fandom osmosis" so I know I can't get the feels gotten by knowing the characters well -- yet I do know a fine piece of poetry when I read it and this is certainly one.

*showers you with poetry sparkles*

[china_shop]

*dances in the sparkles* Thanks, youuu! :-)

[minoanmiss]

Goss's drawing led me here and this is, of course, gorgeous. It's like blossoms on a branch.

[china_shop]

*beams* Thanks so much! <333

[no_detective]

oh, this is STUNNING and achy and beautiful, and the last line... oh, my heart. <3

[china_shop]

Thank youuu! <3 *pets Shen Wei forever*

[lunabee34]

Wow! This is really, really good. I almost never read fanfic poetry, but I'm so glad I read this because it is really awesome.

[china_shop]

Thank youuuu! <3 <3 <3 (I don't really read fan poetry either. I never thought I'd try to write some!)