Title: what hand, what eye
Fandom: Guardian
Pairing: Zhao Yunlan/Shen Wei
Words: ~1,500
Content notes: ink-brush writing-on-skin, intimacy, partial nudity, lots of secrets and yearning.
Timing notes: in my nebulous hand-waviness, this is set some time after Episode 11 but definitely before Episode 20. I've only reached Episode 25, so I may be making some assumptions here that don't hold up -- you've been warned!

Many thanks to china_shop and mekare for inspiration and cheerleading!

Summary: When Shen Wei suggested this, it had sounded like a lark -- a chance to scrawl crude obscenities across his lover's naked back before smearing them to unreadability with his own skin.



Yunlan lounges on the couch in Shen Wei’s apartment and watches the other man work at his desk. Shen Wei’s eyes are down, his expression studious as he concentrates completely on the task before him. Those deft fingers grind the inkstick in careful circles, stop to check the consistency of the ink, and start again to grind more. It isn’t even his usual every-day inkstick -- a phrase that would never have crossed Yunlan’s mind before Shen Wei -- but one that he had taken from a fancy box in his desk drawer and unwrapped just for this.

It makes the fluttery nervous feeling in Yunlan’s stomach roll over again. When Shen Wei suggested this, it had sounded like a lark -- a chance to scrawl crude obscenities across his lover's naked back before smearing them to unreadability with his own skin.

He should have known it wouldn't be that simple. Not with something Shen Wei asked of him.

Shen Wei finishes making the ink with one last check, then looks up and catches Yunlan watching him. Shen Wei ducks his head shyly and smiles with a breathy little laugh. Yunlan knows what that is: permission to look more.

Shen Wei invites Yunlan’s eyes all the time -- with a laugh, with a gesture, with the particular angle of chin as he ducks his head just so. It isn’t shyness, and Yunlan has been left to helplessly imagine ancient Dixingren customs of attraction and desire.

After a moment, Shen Wei carries the ink and the brush back to the couch, and sets them formally on the table in front of Yunlan.

He glances up from under his lashes only when he sits down next to Yunlan on the couch. This time, it’s Yunlan who looks away from that steady gaze.

“We don't have to do this,” Shen Wei says softly.

Yunlan pushes his uncertainty away with a laugh. “What? I’m supposed to miss a chance to see you naked?”

“Hm.” Shen Wei undoes his cuffs and begins to slide off the sleeve garters. Yunlan watches greedily, following each patch of skin as it’s revealed. He will never have enough of this, not if he has it every day for a thousand years. Shen Wei’s motions aren’t matter of fact, aren’t teasing, just -- unwrapping himself as a gift for Yunlan, and only for him.

Well. Not only for him. It’s perfectly clear that there’s someone else Shen Wei sees when he looks at Yunlan. He’s stopped worrying about it. If that poor fool ever shows his face, Yunlan will be very straightforward about how Shen Wei is his, now, no matter what came before him. He fully intends to convince Shen Wei of this fact, too, if it comes to that.

Shen Wei carefully folds his shirt and drapes it neatly over the table. He doesn’t look back to see Yunlan watching, but he does duck his head again. Yunlan knows he's hiding another smile as he slips out of his undershirt. So many layers!

They aren’t the only barrier around Shen Wei, or maybe they’re just the markings of that sense of propriety that leaves him barely touching Yunlan's fingertips in public. Shen Wei never shies away when Yunlan touches him -- slinging an arm around his shoulder, taking his hand -- but left to his own devices, he’s more likely to simply put his hand near to Yunlan's. Close enough to feel the heat from his skin but not quite touching.

This is more of the same somehow, despite the sweeping expanse of bare skin. There is something to this, something about being only half-naked, in his living room, touching with the brush and the wetness of ink instead of skin-to-skin. It has the feel of the questions Yunlan isn’t supposed to ask, the ones Shen Wei won’t answer.

The nervous flutter in his belly flares into want when Shen Wei finally turns his back fully. Yunlan’s hands itch to map out again the familiar stretch of Shen Wei’s shoulders as he sits there patiently, spine perfectly straight even as his head bows forward. Yunlan doesn’t run his hands down that sharp line of bones, but it’s a close thing.

He picks up the brush instead, and twirls it once to get a feel for it while it's still dry. It isn’t Shen Wei's usual brush, though the wood of this one is worn enough not to be new. Now that Yunlan is looking, it’s not the usual inkstone, either.

In his imagination, this happened in a bed -- his bed, to be precise -- with both of them laughing and tumbling over until they spilled the ink and Shen Wei scolded him for ruining the sheets.

“Are you sure you want me to drip ink on your couch?” he asks, stalling.

Shen Wei doesn’t move an inch. “It won't drip.”

Yunlan touches the bristles to the ink pool. It is, indeed, thicker than he expected. He brings it up to Shen Wei’s shoulder and hesitates.

A thick peppery scent wafts up from the brush, disconcertingly unlike the hint of resinous ink that usually clings to Shen Wei. He is supposed to smell like ink and laundry soap and ozone, especially at the nape of his neck when Yunlan buries his nose there.

“Zhao Yunlan?”

He sets the brush down again and swallows hard against the questions he still can’t ask.

“It's just-- ” he says, with no idea what comes next. “It’s just that my handwriting is so terrible, Shen Wei! I'm ashamed to ask you to wear it.”

There’s a pause, and Yunlan waits to see if Shen Wei will give him one goddamned clue about how to navigate this… thing. What do you want? is something Shen Wei can ask, but not something he seems to be able to answer.

When Shen Wei responds, finally, Yunlan can hear the sly smile in his voice. “If Chief Zhao wishes to improve his brushwork, I am happy to provide an opportunity to practice.”

“Oh?” Yunlan can’t help laughing at that. “Then I am a lucky man, to have such a learned scholar as Professor Shen here to teach me!”

His outrageousness brings a matching laugh from Shen Wei, and now Yunlan can't hold back. He leans in to bury his nose in Shen Wei's hair, and yes, that familiar scent. He wraps his arms around Shen Wei, delighted to have his lover’s bare skin against his shirt. He’ll be more delighted when they’re both naked, of course, but feeling the shake of Shen Wei’s laugh against his chest is almost completely perfect.

Shen Wei’s arms wrap around his, holding him in place. “Truly, we don't have to do this.”

Yunlan considers taking him up on the offer. Shen Wei would’ve told him by now if it were something he could say. But as terrifying as it is to love someone who carries his secrets so tightly, Yunlan is too greedy not to take what he's given.

He turns his head to whisper in Shen Wei’s ear. “But then how would I improve, Professor?”

With another laugh, Shen Wei pushes him away. “We'll start with something simple, then. Take up the brush, Yunlan.”

Yunlan shivers at the way Shen Wei says his name. Someday, he swears, he will find a way to make the other man utter an actual endearment. Someday.

But he takes up the brush again, dips it in the thick ink, and lifts it to hover again over Shen Wei's right shoulder. He braces his left hand on the other, and is rewarded with a quick inhale from Shen Wei.

But Shen Wei’s voice is steady. “We'll begin with heng, wan, pie...”

Yunlan lets out a laugh as he realizes Shen Wei fully intends to walk him through the characters, stroke by stroke. He follows along, and lets Shen Wei's voice guide his arm with the brush. It lets him focus instead on the glide of the ink along warm skin, the slight drag of the bristles. The ink leaves crisp black lines that neither drip nor smudge, and the sharp smell of pepper fills the space between them.

Yunlan listens for the hitches in Shen Wei's voice as he calls out the strokes, the unevenness of his breathing. His tone shifts from calm to something joyous, like a vow spoken one command at a time.

Yunlan’s other hand shifts lower, sliding down Shen Wei’s side to the last piece of skin just above his belt.

It gets harder to write neatly, Shen Wei’s skin moving with each drawing of breath. Yunlan thinks: from the outside, this would look calm, quiet -- Shen Wei's directions and the two of them sitting demurely on the couch. But his fingers are clutching now at Shen Wei’s waist, his own breath coming harder. He feels as if he is caught up in some vast tide, but he doesn’t want to fight it.

Eventually, Shen Wei’s voice drops into silence. Done, then.

Four columns of characters splay serenely down Shen Wei’s back. In the neatest handwriting he’s ever done in his life, Yunlan notes absently, as his eyes take in what he’s written.

In death or life, whether separated and far apart
With you I made an agreement:
I grasped your hand
Together with you I was to grow old.

“Shen Wei,” he breathes, and stops.

Shen Wei says nothing.

Yunlan sets the brush down with a clatter, and doesn't care. He trails a finger along those lines of words, and watches Shen Wei shiver under his touch. The other man bows his head further, the shape of him visible and vulnerable, and Yunlan finds himself in awe at his beauty and bravery.

Together with you I was to grow old.

He leans his forehead against the nape of Shen Wei's neck. The ink has dried; he doesn't think he could smear it now if he tried. “Shen Wei, Shen Wei. What am I supposed to do with you?”

Shen Wei covers the hand still grasping at his waist, and threads their fingers together.

Yunlan breathes in the smell of the marks he left on his lover -- unwittingly, unknowingly, but somehow still his.



Author's Note: I've been spoiled enough for the tone of the ending, but I'd rather not know details until I get there. I'm only on Episode #25! Let me frolic in my ignorance for a while longer!

Also, I'm left in the strange position of saying that I think this is slightly AU, in the sense that I really do think Shen Wei touches Zhao Yunlan fairly often. But I wrote this originally intending it to be flashfic, so slightly AU it is.

Also also, if you haven't seen mekare's amazing fanart from the same prompt, you should definitely check it out!