The Good Place: Fanfic: art, fine and vulgar

[elasticella]

Title: art, fine and vulgar
Fandom: the good place
Rating: teen
Length: 340 words
Notes: title from hellogoodbye's hang loose
Summary: a what if simone was on team cockroach from the beginning

“Shut up. Shut up!” Simone exclaims, looking around the neighborhood. “I didn’t even think there was an afterlife, y’know I did neuroscience. Definitely team mind and body as one. This is awesome!”

 

Michael laughs and they stop in front of an oversized mansion. It looks like a small mountain, and Simone wonders how many people are in this neighborhood. “I’m afraid I must leave you here, there’s been a late arrival without a soulmate.”

 

“Oh,” Simone says, eyes wide. “Do most residents have those?”

 

“But of course, how better to spend eternity? Goodbye.”

 

“Thanks,” Simone says to his hastily retreating back, and the late arrival must be a bigger deal than she thought. She knocks, feeling a bit foolish as this is her new home, but doesn’t hear a thundering of footsteps.

 

Trying the handle, the door’s unlocked and she goes in.

 

“Holy shirt.”

 

The entrance hall alone is bigger than her apartment, and there’s a stunning woman descending from the stairs. She looks like a movie star with perfectly bronzed skin, a floral day dress, long legs and stiletto boots clicking on each stair.

 

“You must be my soulmate, how exciting that we haven’t met before.”

 

“Uh yeah,” Simone swallows, hasn’t felt so gay since her first crush on a girl. Absently she wonders if that’s part of a soulmate effect, if it’s discernible. (Could she do studies up here? Her biological systems seem to be working normally, but maybe that’s a perception trick? She is dead. And increasingly glad her death is eternal sleep theory to be wrong.)

 

“I’m excited to get to know you better. Over forever.”

 

She laughs, coming closer and hugging her. She even smells perfect, and Simone can’t help a theory voice in the back of her mind muttering: how do you know she’s real? Maybe a soulmate is created, and that’s why perfection of a pair is possible, maybe-

 

“I’m Tahani. I was about to get lunch; would you care for a picnic?”

 

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

 

She grins, “Simone. That sounds wonderful.”

Comments

[china_shop]

Ahaha, I love this! Simone's voice is perfect! (But why is she in the Bad Place? Does she have a fatal flaw we never saw? Too much almond milk in her coffee? *g* You know what, it doesn't matter.)

[elasticella]

Thanks! Ahaha, Simone is in the Bad Place because she's a regular good person and the way points are tabulated she has not done enough ridiculously extravagant good acts to merit enough points for the Good Place. She is yet another poster child for why the point system doesn't work XD

[china_shop]

Hee! That makes total sense. :-D

[dariaw]

this is great! I love the way she tries to science her way into understanding things lol

[elasticella]

eee thank you!

[rivulet027]

Oh! I didn't even know I wanted this pairing, but it's wonderful. I love your Simone voice!

[elasticella]

ee thanks! it's my first attempt writing her, so that's great to hear \o/

[fadedwings]

This is really great. You did a wonderful job with Simone's voice!

[elasticella]

ee thanks so much!

[mab_browne]

That's a really nice Simone voice there. But now I'm left wondering how she and Tahani are supposed to make each other miserable as per Michael's usual evil plan.

[elasticella]

Thanks! Ah, this isn't their first good place attempt with Simone. In the very first version I imagine Michael would keep the original dynamics, plus Simone on the side. So she wouldn't have a soulmate/thinking her role is to observe and feeling miserable and lonely about it. (And added Chidi & Eleanor stress that she figures out Eleanor is a phony lmao.) Anyways, this is one of the later versions of the au where Michael is desperately mixing up the ships and hoping one of them sticks. That being said, I do think they could make each other miserable (or happy like all good place ships lol) by Tahani becoming increasingly insecure about Simone's research into what makes up a good person/how the calculations are done and Simone rebuffing Tahani's attempts to do frivolous neighborhood stuff. And of course, whatever fun external events come to wreck havoc on them. \o/